Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

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AdamOndi
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby AdamOndi » Wed 01 Feb, 2012 09:30 am

I recently applied for a promotion at work (for which there were 2 open positions), and after several months of everything taking forever in the interviewing process, I was ultimately passed over while the department head hired a couple of guys he worked with 15 or 20 years ago instead.

While that was annoying, it wasn't necessarily "curiously inappropriate" until yesterday, when I had my annual performance review. My immediate supervisor was doing the review and during the "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" stuff, he mentioned how I had applied for that promotion. After not expressing any sympathy whatsoever for me being passed over, he then went on to extol the virtues and vast experience of the two guys who were hired instead of me. He seemed to think I would be happy that those guys were hired, not realizing at all that maybe I am a little annoyed at having been passed over for the promotion.

All I could do was sit there and think to myself, "Seriously? Are you trying to rub it in my face that I was rejected for those promotion opportunities? Or are you just completely oblivious to the fact that I might not be happy at being rejected for a promotion?"
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KMD
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby KMD » Wed 01 Feb, 2012 10:04 am

That just stinks for you Adam! I'm sorry. Some people are just cold, unfeeling, well, you know what's!

My workplace has been fairly appropriate lately, which seems almost odd. I guess that means I'm the one being inappropriate, and I don't even realize it. :D

Closest thing I can think of is, I just had my "annual evaluation" with the new company, and well, it's a weird thing. I'm used to having to state goals at the beginning of the year, having to state how you achieved those goals at the end of the year, and then your boss reviews them with you, and gives you some kind of rating, and that affects your bonus or raises (if any) that year. And you knew that the manager really gave you a rating on how he thinks you did that year, and what he's got a budget for, not necessarily how well you met or wrote up those annual goals. But, at least it was something measurable. But this. Apparently some higher-up muckity muck states his goals for the year, and that trickles down to everyone under him. And then at the end of the year I had to state how I had achieved them, even though this is the first time I'd seen them, and then my team lead met with me, and all he did was talk about how he wants to see me develop other members in the team in the upcoming year. He said he has no problems with me, and that's it. There was no rating, or if there was, he forgot to tell it to me. So, I really have no idea what to expect in the way of bonuses/raises or anything. Everyone I've talked to says this company is much better about giving out bonuses and raises than where we used to work, but it's just that feeling of uncertainty, you know? I should not feel uncertain at the end of a performance eval, I should KNOW where I stand. But, I feel like I'm knee-deep in wishy-washy over here instead.
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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 01 Feb, 2012 10:34 am

Both of those situations sound annoying. To be fair, though, Adam, could your boss have just been justifying why the other two guys were promoted instead of you?

My husband gets his raises based on performance, partly judged by those who report to him. The evaluate how well he responds to them and how easy he is to approach, etc. He always does well, but sometimes I feel bad because there's a pool of raise money, and the more he gets, the less someone else gets. I don't feel *that* bad, though. :)

I, of course, have not gotten a raise in several years, even a cost of living raise that used to be regular, and in fact they keep making more furlough days. But after 19 years, my job is as secure as a job can be in California these days, so I'm not complaining too much.

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby SDR » Wed 01 Feb, 2012 10:47 am

About the unflushed toilet: inappropriate under normal circumstances, but I can imagine multiple scenarios that would excuse it. However, I can't think of any that makes it okay to effectively demand that anyone else flush it once discovered other that the presumably able-bodied discoverer.

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby AdamOndi » Wed 01 Feb, 2012 11:22 am

Momma Snider wrote:Both of those situations sound annoying. To be fair, though, Adam, could your boss have just been justifying why the other two guys were promoted instead of you?


There was no sense of justification. He seemed to think that I would be genuinely excited that the department head hired two guys (from outside the company--these were not promotions from within) that he used to work with instead of promoting me.
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 01 Feb, 2012 12:29 pm

I was just punched in the stomach by a 5th grader.

What's inappropriate here, though, is her very presence in this school. She is a Special Education student, I don't know her specific disability, but she is VERY low-functioning mentally, and also has these anger issues. I feel so sorry for her, because you can see by looking in her eyes that she just doesn't know what's going on. We have an SDC class, but it is for 1-3 grades, yet she has been allowed to stay because the mom likes the teacher.

We have two tiny little Down's Syndrome boys in the class, and one very fragile boy who has to wear a helmet and has a trach, and when this girl goes off, throwing chairs and hitting and kicking, they are in serious danger. She is almost as tall as I am and weighs 130 pounds and SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS CLASS.

I got involved today because she threw a box of crayons at the district nurse, and I went to see if I could calm her. At first she let me hug her, but as soon as the principal walked in, she elbowed me in the stomach and then stood up and slapped me.

Good thing: I did not hit her back!

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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Tue 28 Feb, 2012 12:57 pm

Apparently Immigration is making a stipulation that if someone is deported, they will review the case to see if there's a compelling reason to let them stay in the USA. One thing people have been told to have ready is a letter from the school their children attend, saying that it would be detrimental to the child's emotional stability if the parent were deported.

First of all, duh! In general, I'd think it would be fairly obvious that most children would feel a certain amount of instability if the parent wasn't around any more.

But on the other hand, how can we write a letter like that? For all I know, the parent is a monster who would improve the child's well-being by his absence. I don't think that's the case so far, but are we up for a lawsuit if we state that his presence is necessary, and then he abuses his child? We're just not going to get involved in this. (Not even getting into personal opinions about illegal immigration here.)

So I think it's dumb that they even suggest that.

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby ImAdhis » Tue 28 Feb, 2012 01:59 pm

Momma Snider wrote:Apparently Immigration is making a stipulation that if someone is deported, they will review the case to see if there's a compelling reason to let them stay in the USA. One thing people have been told to have ready is a letter from the school their children attend, saying that it would be detrimental to the child's emotional stability if the parent were deported.


This is a really stupid waste of money and time to write, file, and then review for the reasons you already stated. Also, the school is not qualified to evaluate the mental or emotional state and dynamics between family members.
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KMD
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby KMD » Wed 29 Feb, 2012 08:39 am

No kidding! Like you don't already have enough to do, educating children, now you have to get involved in immigration as well! Shesh!
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby robcan2 » Tue 06 Mar, 2012 11:40 am

To Whom it May Concern:

[Parent's name] is, as far as we have been able to ascertain, the biological or adoptive parent of [child's name], a student at [school name]. If you deport [parent's name], logical reasoning would suggest that this will have a negative impact on [child's name]'s emotional stability. We make no claim of knowledge as to whether or not this applies in the case of [parent's name].

Sincerely,

Someone with a brain
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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Tue 06 Mar, 2012 11:47 am

Awesome, Rob! I think I'll present that.

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby robcan2 » Tue 06 Mar, 2012 11:49 am

Momma, that situation reminded me of something that came up recently. Whenever I have to fill out a verification of employment form for an employee who is applying for a loan, or refinancing a mortgage or whatever, on the section for "probability of continued employment" I always write "unknown." Most employees understand that there is never any guarantee of continued employment and we can't state anything to the contrary. But one employee became upset about this and for some reason really wanted me to write, "excellent" in that box. Yeah, right. I've never heard of someone being denied a loan because I wrote "unknown" there. I think this particular employee was just feeling generally undervalued.
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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 05 Apr, 2012 01:06 pm

You know what phrase I hate? "I can't tell you." I mean when it's used to mean "I don't know." One coworker says that all the time, when someone asks when the principal will be here or where he is or any number of other questions. It just sounds like she's being obstructive and obnoxious, when really she just doesn't know the exact answer.

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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Tue 10 Apr, 2012 11:55 am

I just talked to the attendance clerk at another school, in the Los Angeles district. I was asking for records for a student who has moved here. Her last words to me were, "These ones is on they way!"

I'm laughing.

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby KareNin » Tue 10 Apr, 2012 05:12 pm

It's good you can laugh. My ears bleed at times like that.
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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 12 Sep, 2012 04:33 pm

I have a certain coworker who talks ALL THE TIME. Luckily she's only here two days a week, and she's not even in the same room with me, but I can hear her chattering away all day long, and it wears me out. If I was the one she was talking to, I don't think I could stand it.

WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP????

Can you tell she's here right now?

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Momma Snider
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 19 Oct, 2012 11:30 am

Oh, my gosh! Two coworkers are yelling at each other, and one is crying, and they're just not listening to each other, and it's driving me crazy. I've tried to intervene and explain to each what the other one is saying, but they're both determined to make it clear that they are not at fault. And it's a case where NO ONE is at fault, it's just that we each travel in our own spheres and have our own concerns, and we don't necessarily think of someone else's responsibilities as they relate to ours.

I'm not good with oversensitivity. And since that's a seven-syllable word, I should put it in a haiku.

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby SDR » Fri 19 Oct, 2012 12:06 pm

Momma Snider wrote:I'm not good with oversensitivity. And since that's a seven-syllable word, I should put it in a haiku.


{like}

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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby ImAdhis » Mon 22 Oct, 2012 09:25 am

Momma Snider wrote:I'm not good with oversensitivity.


I'm not good with it either. Over the past year, I honestly have said "Stop it" and "Get over it" at least a dozen times to someone who kept looping over some unchangeable event.
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Re: Curiously inappropriate things seen at work

Postby robcan2 » Mon 22 Oct, 2012 10:11 am

Speaking of oversensitivity, last week I had an employee complain to me that her manager treats her differently because she doesn't share the same religious beliefs. I asked how she was being treated differently, and she couldn't give me any examples. She said she just got a "vibe" from her. She also said that when her manager found out she had a tattoo, she started treating her differently. Again, she couldn't give any examples. She said the manager never said anything about the tattoo, but again, she gets a "vibe."

I'm all about fair and equal treatment, but I need a little more to go on than vibes. I don't think I told her to "get over it" in so many words, but I did suggest that sometimes human beings have a tendency to jump to conclusions and it would be better to just talk to her manager if she has concerns.

It's true that in Utah County there is a strong tendency for people to just assume that everyone is LDS and they often have conversations about things that might make some people feel excluded. There probably was something along those lines going on in this situation.
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