The joys of working with the public

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Momma Snider
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 04 Feb, 2015 01:18 pm

A 4th grader brought some kind of Mexican Alka Seltzer to school and gave it to about eight girls. They all then decided they're sick and need to go home, but that's beside the point. They called his mom, and she said he only did it because he's being bullied. That's what she says every time he gets in trouble, and there's usually no possible connection.

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby SDR » Wed 04 Feb, 2015 03:50 pm

You obviously have a grudge against this family if you aren't willing to accept the "two wrongs make a right" defense.

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 05 Feb, 2015 09:47 am

Right? Actually, in this case, there is no reason to think there is any bullying going on. This kid is a little charmer, all the girls love him, which is why they were willing to put this stuff in their mouths when he offered it. It's especially telling that he didn't give it to any boys. He's a little ladies' man. But because NOTHING is ever his fault (he blamed this on his little brother for giving it to him) and his mom reinforces that EVERY time he gets in trouble, I see trouble in his future.

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby SDR » Thu 05 Feb, 2015 12:11 pm

Sad. :(

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Momma Snider
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 05 Feb, 2015 04:49 pm

And now several of the moms are mad at the principal for "accusing" their daughters of eating this Alka Seltzer stuff. The girls all went home and told their moms they didn't do it, even though the principal had TOLD them they weren't in trouble, she just needed to know in case they got sick, and they all admitted that they did, and explained in several cases how fizzy it got and how they spit foam and many more details.

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 19 Feb, 2015 10:16 am

One of the loudest moms I have ever had at my school came in yesterday to enroll two of her grandchildren. Her stepdaughter, the mom, is just as loud, and they insisted on filling out the registration forms here in my tiny office rather than taking them home like most people. The grandma kept talking, loudly, and distracting the mom from what she was doing, so it took about twice as long as it should have anyway, and the noise was incredible. And then I found out that these two kids are the mom's oldest of four, so we'll have the other two, and the grandma and mom, for another nine years.

Oh, wait, I'm retiring in three or four years! There is an escape clause!

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 27 Feb, 2015 02:01 pm

We have a crazy mom here (riiiight, only one!) who appears perfectly normal until you look into her eyes and see that they don't quite focus, and nothing she says makes sense after a few sentences, either. She's trying to get her son changed to another school, but they're turning her down, probably because they see that she's crazy. So the other day she demanded that her son be personally escorted to the playground in the morning by the principal, and the principal would find someone for him to play with before school. The next two days he was late, so it didn't happen. Today he came early, principal was in a meeting but would be out before the bell, so I said he could wait here. She was somewhat insulting to me, indicating that she doesn't trust me to follow up, but I let that roll off. Principal walked him down as promised. Two hours later mom called the district office to complain that her child is being singled out by the principal by walking him to the playground.

Nuts, I tell you!

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby SDR » Fri 27 Feb, 2015 03:15 pm

Sandee's been over a behavior class room this school year. Huge behavior disorder kids. A couple weeks ago one of them went *extra* crazy and destroyed much of her classroom. A week ago she had a meeting with the principal and was told that it wasn't working out and that her contract would not be renewed for this position. Then she was told this kid who'd destroyed the classroom would be coming back after his suspension was over.

I don't blame the principal for wanting to try something new, even though Sandee's been a huge improvement (in the principal's own words) over the person they had last year. The reality is that this is not the kind of job she's cut out for, and to find someone who is would probably cost them double what they pay an average teacher due to the extra training and certifications and so on.

So, Sandee had two interviews early this week and has already been offered a job at a charter school near our house for more money than she was being paid to be abused by a bunch of kids who are apparently one step above being in sent to a juvenile detention facility. I suspect the principal will not be overjoyed with this, but why stay at this point?

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby lilcis » Fri 27 Feb, 2015 05:03 pm

Good for Sandee! What a horrible position to be put in. :?
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby quidscribis » Fri 27 Feb, 2015 06:25 pm

So Sandee's been told her contract will not be renewed, so she finds another job. If the principal is upset, so what? He was terminating her position anyway. What's she supposed to do, wait it out until the end of the year and hope that she gets a job that may not exist? Nah. That way lies madness.

Good for Sandee for getting another job. :)
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Momma Snider
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 27 Feb, 2015 08:41 pm

Yup, good for Sandee!

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Tue 10 Mar, 2015 01:15 pm

SDR, how's it going with Sandee's new job?

Sad commentary on my student population, in general: the time change completely skips about 10% of my students. Even today, Tuesday, there were 48 students late, the majority of them because their parents didn't know the time changed...two days ago. There's one family in particular, with several kids, and the oldest is in the special class for emotionally disturbed, but he is the one who pretty much raises the younger ones, as far as school is concerned. Today he explained that they were late because he didn't know what time it was, and he asked, "So tomorrow morning when the clock says 6:00, what should I change it to?" He's 12, not really old enough to be the man of the house, even if he didn't have issues. I explained, and I think he'll do it, but come on, man!

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby SDR » Tue 10 Mar, 2015 01:29 pm

Sandee's first day at the new school was yesterday, so ... so far so good. She did post to FB last night that it was the first day she didn't have to wonder who was going to try to kill her in a while. She was mostly joking. :)

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby quidscribis » Tue 10 Mar, 2015 07:38 pm

Momma, that's so sad about that kid. I feel for him.
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Momma Snider
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Tue 10 Mar, 2015 07:57 pm

It is very sad with these kids. Dad has custody of them because mom is way worse off, but he doesn't seem to manage very well.

And then there was a six-year-old girl girl who wasn't picked up after school. Mom wouldn't answer her cell, and the home phone was set up to receive faxes. So I sent a fax, but she still didn't return the call. After two hours, the principal drove to the house. Mom wasn't there, but the 8th grade sister was there (who walks within a block of the school to get home from Jr. High; why doesn't SHE pick her up?) and also the housemate. Principal could tell the sister knew where her mom was, but wouldn't say. This is far from the first time this has happened. She doesn't know how close we were to dropping the girl off at the police station. The main reason we didn't is because it would have been so traumatic for the child. Some people shouldn't have kids, and some kids live through some amazingly bad parenting.

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 11 Mar, 2015 10:07 am

This is a tough one. There's a girl here who is really, really fat. Probably literally twice normal weight for her height. Yesterday the dad came in to complain that some other girls are bullying her, and today she didn't want to come to school because of it. I feel for her, of course. The principal will deal with the other girls. But even if they see the error of their ways and feel nothing but compassion for others the rest of their lives, there will be others, next week or next month or next year, so she really needs to learn to let it roll off. We can't tell her that, though, because then it sounds like we're not supportive of her and like we're not anti-bullying.

We would also like to help her do something about her weight. Believe me, I know that some people are just fatter or thinner than others. I always wanted skinny legs like my sister had, and my dad's nickname for me was Fatso until I asked my mom to make him stop. But this is the girl who brings a supplement to her school lunch, and one day she'd forgotten it and the mom had to bring it in. It was regular soda and a big bag of Cheetos. And not in place of lunch, in addition to it. So it's quite possible that something could be done to help her get to a more normal weight, even though she'll never be a swimsuit model. But of course we can't suggest that, either, because that sounds like we're blaming her for the girls picking on her.

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 17 Apr, 2015 10:33 am

There was a woman mentioned in the paper yesterday who had left her 4yo daughter home alone for about 10 hours while she went to San Diego with her friends. Neighbors had called the police after the girl cried all afternoon and evening. When the mom finally came home at 10:30 at night, she defended her actions by saying she had left food and water on the table, and told the girl what time to go to bed. Seriously. Come to think of it, just the fact that she had to leave water, meaning the little girl doesn't even know how to fill a glass and drink it, should have alerted her that this was not right. Mom was arrested and her bail is 100K, and the girl is in a foster home.

So then we had a girl who is really bullying another girl, and of course telling her mom that the other girl is bullying her, which is not out of the realm of possibility. But girl A sent an Snapchat or something to girl B. She has an offensive screen name in the first place, and she threatened girl B using extremely foul language. She deleted it as soon as the other girl read it, but the other girl had taken a screen shot first.

Well, Mom A doesn't believe it. Her daughter showed her her phone, and there's nothing offensive on it, so we're just making this up because we don't like her daughter. (Side note: if an adult really doesn't like your child, do you think there's maybe a reason? Especially when it's year after year that you're claming it?) So she just keeps calling and yelling at the principal to do something about the other girl.

And then there's a boy who brought a knife to school. Usually when that happens is innocent, like maybe they took the backpack on a campout and forgot to take the knife out. In that case, though, as long as they don't take it out at school, meaning no one sees it, no harm is done. But when it has a 3" blade and the kid IS flashing it around, it's a problem. But once again, the mom sees no problem. Turns out she's married to a guy who is in prison for life, she married him after he went to prison. He's never lived with the family, but since this kid was a baby when his real dad died (in a gang fight) I guess they all call this guy his dad. He visits him and talks to him on the phone, and the guy has told him that he needs to do whatever he has to in order to "defend" himself, so he brought the knife on jailbird stepdad's advice. And the mom is okay with that, sees nothing wrong with it, thinks the principal overreacted.

The thing I always think when someone tells their child to fight back is that at least half the time, they are going to get pounded, or in this case, stabbed. In books or movies, once a kid stands up to the "bully," the bully backs down. In real life, a real bully is usually going to pound the victim even more, and probably has backup bullies, and if this little guy flashes his knife at the wrong person, he is in serious danger.

But as long as there are parents who think it's okay for their kids to bring knives to school, we're fighting a losing battle.

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SDR
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby SDR » Fri 17 Apr, 2015 10:50 am

I always carried a knife to school. High school anyway. But it was a little country school and I didn't try to use it to gain respect and never needed it for defense. It was just a handy tool.

Maybe we need a death penalty for certain types of parenting before we get any closer to Idiocracy.

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Momma Snider
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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 17 Apr, 2015 12:29 pm

People sometimes mention forced sterilization of some people, but of course it's too late once we see how bad they are. Not too late for future offspring, though.

(Really, even though I think it, I also see that it would be a giant step in the wrong direction.)

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Re: The joys of working with the public

Postby SDR » Fri 17 Apr, 2015 01:15 pm

Agreed.


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