The Parenting Thread

Welcome to the Online Village of Nerds. Enjoy your stay.

Moderators: The Don, Lady Celtic, Karenins_SuperSon, Eric's Moderator Brother

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Mon 03 Feb, 2014 05:41 pm

Thank you for that! As of now, we're looking at other schools in the area, just in case. But that is definitely an option we're considering.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Fri 07 Feb, 2014 09:48 am

I got my son in to see his awesome pediatrician yesterday, who totally understood, wrote us an Rx for Vyvanse, which is supposed to start working within 45 minutes of the first dose, with the main side effect being loss of appetite. So, he'll be tracking my son's weight & height & blood pressure (it's a stimulant) very closely. He also got us an appt in March with the best child psychiatrist in town. The med is a capsule, but I can break it apart & mix it in with juice or water. Which is exactly what we did this morning, for the first time. He's working on school work right now, while at home on suspension, and he does seem more focused & he's getting more done with less direction. But, could be placebo effect, could be he's hyper-sensitive and trying his best. Could be a lot of things, right now I'm just happy the work is getting done.

Forgot to mention that he got himself suspended from school again earlier this week. For grabbing a girl's buttocks in music class. So, there will be another meeting, and he could be expelled at this one, before he even had a chance to start the meds. We'll see. Plus, there's a very good chance my hubby is losing his job by the end of the month (we've got some tough decisions to make over the weekend) and we might end up moving, which would put him in a different school district anyway!

Right now, my life is not boring.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
Momma Snider
Posts: 9072
Joined: Wed 14 Aug, 2002 08:50 am

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 07 Feb, 2014 10:34 am

I am so grateful for a boring life sometimes! This all sounds overwhelming. I'm glad the pediatrician is on top of things and that the meds seem to work, placebo or not, but everything else seems overwhelming.

Where would you move to? Any ideas? What kind of work does your husband do?

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Fri 07 Feb, 2014 01:33 pm

Right now we would move to Charleston, WV. Technically that's where my job is, I drive there 2 days a week. It's the most likely place for my husband to find an IT job in WV. And there's a great Montessori school practically next door to my office building. The downsides are, moving away from both sets of grandparents and my sister, all willing to watch my son at a moment's notice. And my husband the other day said he doesn't particularly want to move to Chas, but that was before he got the job news. So, he's a bit more receptive to the idea now.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
quidscribis
Posts: 927
Joined: Sat 19 Apr, 2003 10:56 pm
Location: Malaysia, with my hubby whom I love
Contact:

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby quidscribis » Fri 07 Feb, 2014 07:09 pm

Aw, KMD, that's all so stressful. :( I hope your husband finds a new job quickly.

What kind of IT work does he do?
There's no better form of government than a dictatorship when you're the dictator.
-Fahim Farook

Walking the World
Me on Instagram
Me on Twitter
Me on Google+
Me on Facebook

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Wed 12 Feb, 2014 08:36 am

He's a coder, .Net, C#, Perl, and either MS SQL server or Oracle databases.

Oh! Forgot to mention, awesome pediatrician said we could stop the gluten-free thing. He said for ADHD kids, he's seen about half the time, putting them on a gluten-free diet helps a little, the other half it doesn't help at all. It is rare to see it make a huge difference. And if we've tried it for 2-3 weeks and haven't seen a huge improvement, it's not worth it, we can stop. Plus, the side effect of the ADHD meds are a loss of appetite, so I need to get him to eat as much as possible, and the gluten-free wasn't helping that.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
Momma Snider
Posts: 9072
Joined: Wed 14 Aug, 2002 08:50 am

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 12 Feb, 2014 09:18 am

Well, that part is good news! How does he seem to be doing this week?

And your first sentence was one of those things that remind me that there are a whole lot of things I know nothing about. And that's okay.

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Wed 12 Feb, 2014 04:33 pm

With this weather, so far he's only been in school a day and a half. He had one blowup, in music, which is near the end of the day when it was wearing off. His teacher called me the first day to say he was fantastic for her all day, he raised his hand and actually participated in class. She was thrilled. But when she praised him, he said "I'm cheating. I have to take a pill to be good." Which broke her heart, and him & I had a big conversation about how it is not cheating, and everyone needs help with different things. And that there is no pill in the world that can make a bad person good, if there was, jails would be empty. He is a good kid, the meds just help him make better choices.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
quidscribis
Posts: 927
Joined: Sat 19 Apr, 2003 10:56 pm
Location: Malaysia, with my hubby whom I love
Contact:

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby quidscribis » Wed 12 Feb, 2014 05:43 pm

KMD, has your hubs thought of getting into mobile development? There's a worldwide shortage of mobile developers and, accordingly, the pay is higher. Plus if he wants to go the self-employment route, it seems to be easier to get clients. My hubs has been doing this for the last four or five years and the pay has been very good. Of course, switching programming languages/environments is a longer term thing, but it might be worth him considering doing that in his spare time (that mythical beast :P).

Good luck. :)
There's no better form of government than a dictatorship when you're the dictator.
-Fahim Farook

Walking the World
Me on Instagram
Me on Twitter
Me on Google+
Me on Facebook

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Wed 12 Feb, 2014 08:12 pm

He has done some Android development, but all on his own projects, and they are free in the App Store.

A former manager contacted him today, with a possible opening in Charleston. So, doors are closing, other doors opening.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
Momma Snider
Posts: 9072
Joined: Wed 14 Aug, 2002 08:50 am

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 13 Feb, 2014 09:55 am

One good thing, if you have to move, your son will already be used to his meds and will be able to make a good impression with a fresh start. That's sad that he felt like it was cheating, but it sounds like you handled it perfectly. (And sometimes I wish there WAS a pill that would make bad people good, but that would kind of interfere with the whole free agency thing.)

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Thu 20 Feb, 2014 08:50 pm

Thought I'd give an update. The meds are working nicely. It's kind of amazing to watch. About an hour after we give him the meds, he gets very quiet and focused, not like a zombie, but like he gets when he's doing something he is really into, just laser focused. He's that way for 4-5 hours, then it starts wearing off. He gets a little more "lively" but still not near the levels he usually is at. By 8-9 hours, it is out of his system, and he's home from school and running through the house like, well, to paraphrase "... Like his head is full of bees, and the bees are crazy." So, back to normal, I guess. So far his teachers are happy, and he's definitely getting in less trouble at school. But, next Friday is our follow-up meeting with the school, and the school board woman will hear about the buttocks-grabbing incident, and we'll find out if he gets expelled, or what. So, definitely seeing some improvement. We meet with the pediatrician in 2 more weeks, for a re-evaluation and he might want to up the meds. I'm a little concerned because a few times in the evenings we've had some "backlash" from the meds. Very whiny, upset over nothing, no way to satisfy him. It just ends in a screaming, crying emotional fit. But, those haven't been frequent, just twice in 2 weeks. So, we'll see what the pediatrician says about that.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
Lady Celtic
Posts: 1680
Joined: Sat 08 Feb, 2003 07:51 pm
Location: Texas

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby Lady Celtic » Fri 21 Feb, 2014 04:22 pm

Hurrah for improvement!
You're unique, just like everyone else!

User avatar
quidscribis
Posts: 927
Joined: Sat 19 Apr, 2003 10:56 pm
Location: Malaysia, with my hubby whom I love
Contact:

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby quidscribis » Fri 21 Feb, 2014 06:56 pm

Happy to hear about some pretty terrific improvement, KMD. :)

KMD, since your husband has done his own Android apps, I hope he's putting that on his resume. My husband did about a dozen or so iOS (iPad, iPhone) apps before it got him iOS development work, but once he did, it all took on a life of its own and it's all he does now. If your husband wants to get into mobile development, he might want to keep churning out more Android apps so his resume looks even better.

Good luck with everything. :)
There's no better form of government than a dictatorship when you're the dictator.
-Fahim Farook

Walking the World
Me on Instagram
Me on Twitter
Me on Google+
Me on Facebook

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Mon 24 Feb, 2014 06:00 pm

I knew I shouldn't have posted positive things. As soon as I did, I got the call from the school to pick up my kid, he list control at school, screaming, yelling, throwing chairs, within 2 hours of taking the meds. He couldn't calm down in the principal's office, when I got there he still couldn't calm down. He threw his shoes at me. After 20 minutes of his screaming and kicking and hitting, the only way to snap him out of it was when the principal said if he didn't calm down, she would have to call the police. That made him go from fighting to crying, and hugging me instead of screaming he hated me. We got out of there without the police being called, but with a one day suspension. We just saw the pediatrician, he has doubled the meds. And this week my son will get evaluated by Special Ed.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
quidscribis
Posts: 927
Joined: Sat 19 Apr, 2003 10:56 pm
Location: Malaysia, with my hubby whom I love
Contact:

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby quidscribis » Mon 24 Feb, 2014 06:50 pm

*hugs* That must be so hard. :(
There's no better form of government than a dictatorship when you're the dictator.
-Fahim Farook

Walking the World
Me on Instagram
Me on Twitter
Me on Google+
Me on Facebook

User avatar
Momma Snider
Posts: 9072
Joined: Wed 14 Aug, 2002 08:50 am

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby Momma Snider » Tue 25 Feb, 2014 12:10 pm

Hugs from me, too. There are no easy answers, obviously.
I keep seeing things on Facebook where parents are so indignant that the school isn't doing/giving what the child needs, but I'm sure they are just as much in the dark as you are. I hope the evaluation by Special Ed reveals something. I also hope he grows out of it, whatever it is.

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Mon 31 Mar, 2014 12:00 pm

I've been hesitant to post an update, since the last one seemed to be a harbinger of doom for my kid. But, it's almost all good news. The pediatrician doubled the dose of the ADHD med, and it has really been working well. We haven't had any suspensions since. Then we got in with the psychiatrist, who also put him on a very low dose anger management drug. I don't really know if that is helping or not, I can't tell a difference either way. But as of now, I want to keep him on it until the end of the school year, just to be safe. This Friday we meet with the school and the school board and see. his deportment grade went from a F to a C, and right now he's halfway through the 6 weeks, and he's at a 98%. That is Amazing! So, lots of positives. I am still nervous about the meeting on Friday though. We got a letter from the school board that he has one unexcused absence, and it threatened us with jail time. One day, and they start talking jail! and the part that really ticked us off is, it was not an unexcused absence, it was one of the days he was suspended. Someone made a clerical error, and because of that, we get threatened with jail. So, we're going to have WORDS with the School Board lady. Let's hope I can keep my composure enough so I'm not responsible for my kid being expelled.

And then, to complicate (or possibly improve) things, today is my husband's last day on the job. We are now planning a move to Charleston. My husband and I went and toured a private Montessori school right next to my work, and it is absolutely amazing! As in, perfect for my kid. We can swing the price, and they are used to ADHD kids, and can have a lot more leeway in dealing with him & his tantrums. The catch now is, they want Ben to spend a day there to get to know him & gauge where his skills are. But a) Hello actual unexcused absence, I don't want to go to jail. And b) when we got and told my son all about the school, he screamed and cried and swears it sound awful, and will not go. The reality is, he doesn't want to move, he wants everything to stay the same, even though they are awful. So, reasoning hasn't worked, my mother is suggesting tricking him to get him to Charleston, which, i just can't do. All that's left in my bag o'parenting tricks is bribery. But I've got to wait until I get the false unexcused absence straightened out.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

User avatar
Momma Snider
Posts: 9072
Joined: Wed 14 Aug, 2002 08:50 am

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby Momma Snider » Mon 31 Mar, 2014 12:25 pm

Regarding the unexcused absence, that's amazing that jail is even mentioned in a first letter. All you *should* have to do is call the school and say that he was suspended that day. I know mistakes happen a lot on my part in that area, but also sometimes the principal doesn't think to let the attendance department know when a student is suspended, so it may not even be the attendance clerk's fault. Either way, a simple phone call should work.

As for the future absence, to go see the new school, you should also be able to excuse that ahead of time. And even if they tell you no, it will be unexcused, you are NOT going to jail. There are a ridiculous number of steps between the absence and even going to court about it. California is undoubtedly different, but here we have to have nine uncleared absences before we can even require a meeting, and then another three to meet with the district attendance board, and only after that will they meet with the district attorney, and then if it continues to be bad, more absences, they meet with the DA again, and only then is there even the possibility of a fine, and NO ONE ever actually goes to jail. NO ONE. It's sad that they feel they have to bully you with that worry.

But really, it does all sound positive besides that! Since you have to move anyway, it's good that there's a good school for him. And bribery or whatever it takes is in order to let him see the new school and how great it will be.

Keep us informed!

User avatar
KMD
Posts: 1656
Joined: Thu 06 Sep, 2007 12:53 pm

Re: The Parenting Thread

Postby KMD » Mon 31 Mar, 2014 12:36 pm

Thanks Momma for the peace of mind on the jail time. I swear, this school board woman has just become a big bully. All I know is, elections here are May 13th, and my awesome pediatrician is running for a spot. Normally I wouldn't even vote on something like this, but this woman has been so awful, she's motivated me to action. I've got my whole family turning out to vote for basically whoever is running opposite her.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.


Return to “Main Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider] and 15 guests