Game: IF I were a homosexual...

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~Zesdy~
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Tue 24 Feb, 2004 11:16 pm

karinka wrote:i keep thinking of beautiful people. there are tons of gorgeous women. we are just sexy, sensual animals. that's all there is to it...except the manish ones. i mean, what are they thinking?!



They're probably thinking about other women.

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petullant
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Postby petullant » Tue 24 Feb, 2004 11:37 pm

Dear Lesbian Undertones, Why hello there. Love, Laura

I would think the game would be easier to play if you were bi as you've spent more time thinking about who of the same sex is cuter than someone else might. Unless that someone is me of course. I develop girl crushes all the time - usually it's more a crush on their shoes or haircuts but it's heartfelt all the same.

My Picks!

Anna Karina in Vivre sa vie (http://www.joannou.net/petullant/vivresavie.jpg)
Lorelai from Gilmore Girls - Meow.
Dorothy Parker - catch me while I swoon.
Virginia Woolf - british and I still like her. A feat!
Hiliary Chan - the star of Adrian Tomine's story "Hawaiian Getaway". She's a total phwooar and has the amazing ability to look a little frumpy and chubby when dressed but have a "naughty karate" body when she's just in her underpants.
Just in underpants? Why hello there, Scarlett Johanssen.
Rogue from X-men. Man if I could get away with wearing gloves like that. She's a complete fox.
Joan Jett -- or better yet my friend Liz dressed up as Joan Jett (http://www.joannou.net/petullant/lizjoan1.jpg)
My friend Sara who has the most beautiful facial features ever (http://www.joannou.net/petullant/saraspecs.jpg)

and basically most dark hair girls who wear glasses
"Sometimes, I don't understand you people." Kiki

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." -- Dorothy Parker

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karinka
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Postby karinka » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 12:20 am

dark-haired girls who wear glasses...TINA FEY! i wish i could be as funny as she.

i've already mentioned tori, but here she is in dark hair and glasses:
Image
Image

all of the women i have "girl crushes" on, if i may borrow laura llew's wording, have something that i want for myself...a talent i don't have, a great mouth, millions of shoes, a great nose, wittier...uh...wit, hot men, etc. i'm pretty sure i could build the perfect girl. i'm glad i like myself a whole lot, though, because thinking about what all of these people have that i don't could get depressing.
"The question is 'Is she hot' not 'Would you do her'. Respect the game."

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petullant
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Postby petullant » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 12:29 am

Make that SHORT dark hair with glasses.

Past a certain length and I get bored.

Tina Fey is looking incredibly foxy on the cover of Bust. I don't EVER like fishnets but she certainly knows how to work them. Also, there's a great librarians being the new "it" girls that mentions a friend of mine - whoot!
"Sometimes, I don't understand you people." Kiki



"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." -- Dorothy Parker

fierydarts
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Postby fierydarts » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 12:42 am

I can't believe that I forgot Viggo Mortensen earlier. He's dreamy. The rest of you can keep your pretty boy elf, I'll take the rugged king any day.

Also, I should mention my friends Henry and Lance. They're great because they don't get jealous when I go on dates with girls, as long as I eventually come back to them. And they're okay if things are purely physical between us. (I also have Henry's book and Lance's computer, so I'll have an excuse to see them again.)
There are 10 kinds of people, those who can count in binary, and those who can't.

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mistytsim
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Relationships Suck

Postby mistytsim » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 12:59 am

Cherry got me a desk calendar for Christmas called "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club" and this is the entry for today:

I am pissed off at God for making me heterosexual, and I swore that the next time I heard the Speech, I was going to fix that. I have enough Friends, so I'm going to try really hard this time to be a lesbian. The only problem with this is that all the men are fascinated by lesbians, lesbians are delicacies to men, and once they find out you are one, they want you back again.
Technically I am a giant wiener. The costume tag says "wiener."

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petullant
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Postby petullant » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 01:41 am

The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club!

I've got a magnet on my fridge for that which reads, "One day Idiot Girls will take over the world... and we'll bring dessert too."

My friend gave me the book for christmas two years ago. It's autographed. Not just autographed though - she mentions my dog, Miss Flannery! And she writes that if I don't find it funny to try drinking and it will be a 100x better. I wasn't overly fond of the book (clever in spots but not enought to carry it). However, it was worth it for the autograph alone.
"Sometimes, I don't understand you people." Kiki



"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." -- Dorothy Parker

RandyTayler
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Postby RandyTayler » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 02:36 am

If I were gay, I'd be attracted to Brad Pitt. There, I said it.

The logic being -- if I HAD to be gay, I'd at least want to be attracted to what women call the pinnacle of male beauty. No innuendo intended, so stop thinking about it.

But that's such a hard thing to actually SAY -- the only reason I'm able to say it at all is that I'm comfortable enough with my heterosexuality and my wife and our baby that I can do so without fearing backlash.

But why, then, is it not as hard for a girl to say? Could it be that the ubiquitous objectification of women has the same effect on women as it does on men -- ie, making beautiful women as objects of desire?

PROBABLY, I say.

Which brings to bear an important point. If homosexuality continues to become commonplace and accepted, there will be no more straight women in the world. I mean, why would they marry a hairy, stinky man when they could marry a soft, sensuous woman? Seriously, what was my wife thinking? Forget stopping homosexual marriage. What we need to stop is LESBIAN marriage! In fact, lesbian-ism should be illegal. Nobody benefits from it but women.

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karinka
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Postby karinka » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 02:50 am

i know, randy! sometimes i think, "man, i've been looking for love in all the wrong places." i could have had thousands of women by now, but no, i'm a masochist (also "ew" pops into my mind when i get down to brass tax). i keep searching and sometimes waiting for the man of my dreams to come along. he better be worth the hunt!

this thread is cracking me up.
"The question is 'Is she hot' not 'Would you do her'. Respect the game."

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Momma Snider
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Postby Momma Snider » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 09:36 am

This thread is grossing me out.

But I do have something to say. I think it's like how women can hug each other without feeling gay, we can also notice when another woman is beautiful (or even hot) without being attracted to her. I think a lot of times what we notice is what we envy.

I am not the slightest bit interested in a woman that way (in fact, EWWWW) but I can recognize one who is attractive.

~Zesdy~
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 09:58 am

Yeah, or how a woman can compliment another woman on the way she looks without it being more than a compliment. But I'm getting the impression that wouldn't be the same for men.

Men...I need your help here. If a man were to compliment you, on appearance, what would that indicate to you?

Also, if a woman were to pay you a compliment, does that indicate, in your thoughts, that she might be interested?

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nick
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Postby nick » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 10:42 am

~Zesdy~ wrote:Men...I need your help here. If a man were to compliment you, on appearance, what would that indicate to you?


It depends on what he was complimenting. If it was how nice my eyes looked, that would freak me out. If it was on my choice of tie, then probably not. Ties are pretty much the only article of clothing guys notice about each other, and worry whether or not they go with their shirt or suit.
For the most part, we stay away from complimenting each other on our appearance. It's just "ooky."

Also, if a woman were to pay you a compliment, does that indicate, in your thoughts, that she might be interested?


Again, it depends. Generally, compliments about my appearance come from women who I know aren't interested. I guess it depends on how they behave when they're complimenting; if they do it matter-of-factly or if they gaze longingly into my eyes, for instance.

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Huzzak
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Postby Huzzak » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 10:47 am

It really depends on how it was done. If some guy were to say, "Wow Joshua, you are lookin' good." It wouldn't bother me. Actually, I don't think it would bother me even if he were to say, "You are one handsome stud." Any physical touching that goes along with statements like that aside from vigorous slaps on the back is no good. Like arm touching or shoulder squeezing. Unless the guy is a good friend and at least as old as my father. Any talk about physical contact is too much no matter what. "Joshua, you look so darn good, I want to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body." That wouldn't be good at all.

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petullant
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Postby petullant » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 10:47 am

I think the difference is how men and women approach the question. Most girls here thought it was just listing other females they thought were cute. There's no insinuation of being homosexual with that. Whereas the guys answer seem to be more than that - like they'd actually have to be gay just to answer the question.

Dear Boys, Get over it. Seeing how another male is attractive doesn't make you gay. Sadly, it doesn't make you better to go shoe shopping with either. Love, Laura

I generally think there are more girls who are foxier than boys. There just are. However, while I think they're attractive I'm not generally attracted to them which could be seen as a shame as I get hit on girls A LOT. Of course, I also have been mistaken for lesbian porn girl so that could account for it.

Boys I Would Like If I Were Male And Thus Had A Chance
David Sedaris
Rupert Everett
My friend Brian (http://www.joannou.net/petullant/briansmoke.jpg He smokes red cigarettes! How gay!)
My friend Damon who I continually try to convince to become one of those nasty heteros
"Sometimes, I don't understand you people." Kiki



"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." -- Dorothy Parker

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saltamonte
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Postby saltamonte » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 10:59 am

Well, The question was worded "IF I were a homosexual, I'd most likely be attracted to _________." And homosexuality is even more disgusting for guys than it is for girls. I have no trouble seeing who girls would find attractive (they hang their immodest posters up just like the boys do). But to think about what men would be attractive to men... that's a different and far more disturbing story.

Salt

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nick
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Postby nick » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 11:01 am

Amen. Just the question made me go EWWWWW (although when someone brought up Viggo Mortensen, I actually thought he had a point).

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petullant
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Postby petullant » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 11:15 am

That's what I'm saying. I know that personally I didn't think of the question as literal I just immediately translated it into what girls I thought were foxy. I can't imagine ever actually being in a relationship with any of the ones I listed. I'm not even talking about physical involvement. Just emotional - Dorothy Parker? Hello, she would have eaten me ALIVE. And then washed me down with a martini.

I'm just saying that girls seem to be able to seperate the two and not take it as seriously as boys. Saying that you think another guy is attractive doesn't mean you have to start wearing linen suits, you know.

Unfortunately.
"Sometimes, I don't understand you people." Kiki



"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." -- Dorothy Parker

~Zesdy~
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 11:21 am

Would you like to offer an alternative wording to my question, Salt? One that men would understand that this is not to be taken literally.

By the way, I like your pretty, and artistic, eye.

Edit-I had to take out what might be misunderstood as flirting. No more gentle squeezes on the arm from me.
Last edited by ~Zesdy~ on Wed 25 Feb, 2004 11:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Mark
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Postby Mark » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 11:26 am

I think it largely depends on situation/relationship with the complimenter/tone of voice used, etc.

If a guy were to walk up to me and say "Dang you look sexy today" and I didn't know him, i'd probably give him a funny look, say "uh, thanks." and walk away. If, on the other hand, a friend were to say "I like that shirt. it looks good on you" I probably wouldn't think much of it at all.

Same thing if the complimenter were female. If the girl had the "hey baby" look in her eyes or tone of voice, then I'd think she was coming on to me. If a friend that was a girl said "Nice shirt, it looks good on you." I'd associate a little more sexual innuendo with it than if it was a man, but not much.

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Postby RenLass » Wed 25 Feb, 2004 11:48 am

This thread is grossing me out.
I'm with Momma on this one. It's not the postings that do it, because I've never thought it was an indicator of sexual desire just to be aware of how attractive either males or females around me might be, but the NAME of the thread does make me squeamish.

Would you like to offer an alternative wording to my question, Salt? One that men would understand that this is not to be taken literally.
How about - If it didn't make me look gay, what same-sex person would I find attractive? - just a thought


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