New game, kinda like Smush

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Claytonius Maximus
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Postby Claytonius Maximus » Thu 23 Feb, 2006 11:54 am

pizzocalabro wrote:Y Tú Big Momma's Casa de Los Babys También. Gael García Bernal reprises his role as police officer Victor in this sequel to La Casa de Big Momma, the acclaimed Mexican remake of Big Momma's House. Victor once again dons a latex fatsuit and tent-like dress to become the free-spirited Victoria, this time in order to gain access to a baby-trafficking ring. Victor makes friends with several of the baby-traffickers and expectant mothers, unaware that they see through his disguise immediately, but accept him because they admire his ability to live his own life without regard to social norms. When the truth comes out, bullets fly, babies drool, and hilarity ensues.


You forgot to say, "screenplay by Thomas S. Monson."

A Walk the Line to Remento
Guy Pierce stars as hard drinking troubled teen Eli. With song lyrics and chicks’ numbers tattooed across his body, he just can’t seem to remember whether he failed the sobriety test or not. Now in famed Folsom prison, a born-again pop singer keeps sending him polaroids of tennis star Andy Roddick posing around Small-town USA. Will he get off the alcohol? Will his sickly love ever make another good movie? Will people complain that it’s all just too confusing? Hmmm.

Good Night and Joy Luck Club
Edward R. Murrow uses his ample eyebrows and earnestness to frighten four elderly Asian women. Their four hip daughters help the older generation get entertained, amused, and insulated from the scary American.

The Matadora the Explorer
Friendless-lush-ex-hitman Julian finds new life when he recruits the most unlikely of partners, a small Hispanic girl. While Dora helps Julian brush up on his Spanish and counting skills, Julian teaches Dora the finer points of murder for moolah.


CM
"You know, it's always a great thing when a director looks at you and says, `Even cheesier.'"

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BeeDub
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Postby BeeDub » Thu 23 Feb, 2006 01:20 pm

Brokeback to the Future. Click here.
You can lead people to truth, but you can't make them understand it: the story of my childhood, as seen from the present.
-Bill Watterson

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pizzocalabro
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Postby pizzocalabro » Fri 24 Feb, 2006 12:07 pm

Doogallipoli. Adorable, kooky, CGI-animated animals bumble around the peninsula of Gallipoli in this searing re-enactment of the World War I offensive.

The Ex-Stepford Wive's Club. This remake of the 1970s camp/horror/feminist classic manages to preserve almost the exact same storyline but without any of the charm and wit of the original. Part of the problem is undoubtedly due to phoned-in performances by the usually dependable Jessica Alba and Paul Walker, but Wes Craven's by-the-numbers direction certainly didn't help. Still, it's hard to go wrong in some of the scenes, principally the obligatory shots of Walker and Alba in swimsuits--surfing, scuba diving, tanning, etc.--and really, the idea of Jessica Alba as a recovering robot wife seems so real-to-life that almost no suspension of disbelief is required.

The Caviator. A group of unsuspecting horror-film stock characters descend into an uncharted cave system for a day of fun and frolic. The fun soon changes to bewildered horror, however, as they are harassed and menaced by a disheveled, quixotic, germophobic genius/monster with grotesquely long fingernails who (we discover in one of the film's finer gross-out sequences) stores bottles of his own urine around the caves. Leonardo DiCaprio's performance as the monster is uniformly strong, but most of the film is a bit too talky to work in the horror genre. With a really good edit and a new musical score it might do as a light romantic comedy, though.

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BeeDub
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Postby BeeDub » Fri 24 Feb, 2006 02:10 pm

The Blues Brothers Grimm. Two traveling minstrels turn the folk stories they hear amongst the peasantry into toe-tapping tunes. Features a spectacular 100-horse pileup.

October Sky High. Based on the true story of young schoolboy who dreams of becoming just like his hero, Rocket Man. Cameos by Bruce Campbell and Elton John.

The King and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Several Thai teens find themselves harassed by two unknown stalkers after accidentally killing a young white boy. They start dying one by one and... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

The Shaggy Dog Day Afternoon. Tim Allen stars as a feral bank robber intending to use the money to have his gay lover "fixed." "Attica! Attica! Woof woof woof!"


Hey Jeff, are we ever going to see the ones you said you had?
You can lead people to truth, but you can't make them understand it: the story of my childhood, as seen from the present.

-Bill Watterson

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Cartoonism
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Postby Cartoonism » Tue 16 May, 2006 04:37 pm

Mountain of the Lord of the Rings.

The Dark Lord Sauron discusses with humble New York reporter, Mr. Callahan, the building of Mordor, the complications the orcs faced in the building thereof, and why it took 400 years to complete.
--Yes, I do own a cat.


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