Pants! (spoilers for harry potter 5)

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Mark
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Pants! (spoilers for harry potter 5)

Postby Mark » Thu 20 Jul, 2006 07:53 am

I heard on a podcast the other day about a fun little game - take quotes from your favorite media (in this case, harry potter) and replace a word or two with pants. Check out these ones:

Quotes from Dumbledore

"I take my [pants] off to you--or I would, if I were not afraid of showering you with spiders."

"I would assume that you were going to offer me [pants], but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness."

"It’s the [pants] we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."

"I'm sorry Harry; I should have said, he [Voldemort] would not want to immediately [pants] the person who reached the island."

"It is important to [pants], and [pants] again, and keep [pantsing], for only then can evil be kept at bay, though never quite eradicated."

"By all means continue destroying my [pants]. I daresay I have too many."

"It is our [pants], Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

Quotes from Harry himself:

"Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the [pants]! Have you got a house? When can I move in?"

"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to [pants] us all!"

"Listen, if you [Fred and George] don't take it [the gold], I'm throwing it down the drain. I don't want it and I don't need it. But I could do with a few [pants]. We could all do with a few [pants]. I've got a feeling we're going to need them more than usual before long."

"It's just hard," Harry said finally, in a low voice, "to realize he won't [pants] me again."

"SHE KILLED SIRIUS! SHE KILLED HIM -- I'LL [PANTS] HER!"

"Yeah, and others might say it's your duty to check that people really are Death Eaters before you [pants] them in prison," said Harry, his temper rising now.

Ron Weasley:

"Accio [Pants!]"

Hermione frowned at Ron.
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his [Pants} cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"

"You need your inner [pants] tested if you ask me."

Hermione Granger:

"Oh Harry, don't you see? If she could have done one thing to make absolutely sure that every single person in this school will read your [pants], it was banning [them]!"

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, [pantsed]. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

Fred and George Weasley:

"You two just Apparated on my [pants]!"
"Yeah, well, it's harder in the dark --"

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the [pants].
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred.

"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" asked Hermione.
"Well, he can do it if he thinks no one is [pantsing] him," said Fred, rolling his eyes. "So all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up on his end Saturday."

Draco:

"Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want [pants] that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?"

"You're in luck, Weasley, Potter's obviously spotted some [pants] on the ground!"

"But I got this far, didn't I?" he [Draco] said slowly. "They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here... and you're in my power.... I'm the one with the [pants].... You're at my mercy...."

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robcan2
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Postby robcan2 » Thu 20 Jul, 2006 08:06 am

So in this particular thread, do we all stick with HP, or do we use quotes from a book/movie/tv show/song of our choosing?

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Mark
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Postby Mark » Thu 20 Jul, 2006 09:00 am

anything you like. Choose any Media.

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robcan2
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Postby robcan2 » Thu 20 Jul, 2006 09:34 am

hope no one will be offended if I use the Bible.

Then said the LORD unto Moses, Behold, I will rain [pants] from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no.

Cursed be he that removeth his neighbour’s [pants]. And all the people shall say, Amen.

And Samson said, With the [pants] of an [I can't express myself without swearing], heaps upon heaps, with the [pants] of an [I can't express myself without swearing] have I slain a thousand men.

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The Don
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Postby The Don » Thu 20 Jul, 2006 09:52 am

Huh, the filter won't let ass through if referencing a donkey.

That makes me giggle.
I like traffic lights.

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fireball
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Postby fireball » Thu 20 Jul, 2006 10:48 pm

Hey, Mark, I'm a Pottercast fan, too. I like some of the ones from the show, like the one from book four:
"Now untie him, Wormtail, and give him back his [pants]."

Or the Star Wars ones they mentioned:
"Han will have those [pants] down. We've got to give him more time!"
"I find your lack of [pants] disturbing."
"Some people have a way with words, and others... not have way." - Steve Martin

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Postby Mark » Fri 21 Jul, 2006 05:19 am

yay! Another Pottercast fan! do you also listen to Mugglenet? the MN boys are generally funner and easier to listen to but their theories and reasoning on things stink. and they argue too much. I do tend to laugh with/at them more often, though.

The star wars ones were hilarious.

Too bad I don't actually have an MP3 player to carry with me. I think I'd listen to more of the old ones if I I didn't have to lug my laptop around to do it.

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Postby fireball » Fri 21 Jul, 2006 02:46 pm

Yeah, I listen to both, but I like Pottercast more. I really like the Extendable Ears segments, and the new Canon Conundrums. My husband also likes Pottercast, and my 8 year old son likes Mugglecast, so we listen to them and talk about the zany theories. You're right, though, the Muggle Boys tend to be funnier. I'm getting a bit tired of the chipotle burrito jokes.

Save up for the MP3 player. It's worth it. I took mine on my vacation a couple of weeks ago and listened to a bunch of the old shows; it made travelling so much more enjoyable!
"Some people have a way with words, and others... not have way." - Steve Martin

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Postby Cartoonism » Thu 17 Aug, 2006 02:20 pm

How 'bout LotR? (movies)
NObody [pants-es] a DWARF!

"It's true you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, they are often mistaken for dwarf men."
"It's the [pants]."

"What we need is a few good [pants]."
"What's [pants], precious? what's [pants] eh?"

"No parent should have to [pants] their child."

"What food have we got left?"
"Well, let me see. Oh yes, lovely. [Pants]. And look! More [pants]. I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this elvish stuff is not bad."

"I suppose you think that was terribly clever."
Come on Gandalf. Did you see their [pants]?"
--Yes, I do own a cat.

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techiechick
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Postby techiechick » Fri 01 Sep, 2006 08:56 am

Oh man- my now-ex and I started doing this spontaneously with the word "pie" and the Star Wars movies in about 1996 and I haven't thought of it much since then.
Lando Calrissian: I had no pie. They arrived right before you did. I'm sorry.

This game also works well with the word "spleen". When I was working at a theater, supervising the kids in a production of "A Christmas Carol", they hated all the sappy lines. So, backstage, they started replacing the word "heart" with the word "spleen" whenever it appeared in the script.
Then look inside your spleen, Ebenezer Scrooge...

What a fun game. Thanks for reminding me.


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