An evening with the Food Network

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Turing Complete
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An evening with the Food Network

Postby Turing Complete » Thu 22 Feb, 2007 08:40 pm

You get an evening with the Food Network Celebrities. Who would you have

A) Prepare the meal?
B) Eat with you?
C) For dessert?
D) Wait on you/clean up?

My answers:

A) Mario Batali. His food seems like the most interesting to try.
B) Alton Brown. Definitely the most interesting conversationalist. He'd probably also make snarky comments about Mario's food.
C) Rachael Ray. Because she seems so. . . enthusiastic.
D) Bobby Flay. Just because he bugs me. I'd even get a rolled up newspaper and smack him with it every now and then.
Last edited by Turing Complete on Fri 23 Feb, 2007 03:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby jebelmuus » Fri 23 Feb, 2007 02:06 pm

I'm a linguist, so I can't help but parse it like this:

Who would you have... for dessert? Rachael Ray. Because she seems so. . . enthusiastic.

I may have crossed a line...

I don't know what the exact dinner configuration would be, but Alton Brown and Nigella Lawson would definitely be involved. Alton Brown because I like science, and Nigella Lawson because, well...have you seen her?

Of course, jebelwife would be there. Not that she would need to be there...

::stops digging::

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Turing Complete
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Postby Turing Complete » Fri 23 Feb, 2007 02:59 pm

jebelmuus wrote:I'm a linguist, so I can't help but parse it like this:

Who would you have... for dessert? Rachael Ray. Because she seems so. . . enthusiastic.


Yeah, that's what I meant.

I may have crossed a line...


If so, I crossed it first.

Of course, jebelwife would be there. Not that she would need to be there...

::stops digging::


Heh, for the purposes of this discussion, we're assuming no impediments whatsoever.

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Re: An evening with the Food Network

Postby AdamOndi » Mon 26 Feb, 2007 11:43 am

Ice Cream Conquest wrote:You get an evening with the Food Network Celebrities. Who would you have

A) Prepare the meal?
B) Eat with you?
C) For dessert?
D) Wait on you/clean up?


Prepare the meal: Giada De Laurentiis and Bobby Flay
Eat with me: Alton Brown, Paula Deen, and Mario Batali
Have for dessert: None of the people on the Food Network. I love most of their shows and food, but all of the women have major things that bug me, no matter how attractive they may be. For instance, Rachael Ray is cute, but her voice and corny personality would kill any sort of mood.
Wait on me/clean up: Emeril. Mostly so that I could insult him and not give him any tip.

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Re: An evening with the Food Network

Postby Turing Complete » Mon 26 Feb, 2007 03:36 pm

AdamOndi wrote:Have for dessert: None of the people on the Food Network. I love most of their shows and food, but all of the women have major things that bug me, no matter how attractive they may be. For instance, Rachael Ray is cute, but her voice and corny personality would kill any sort of mood.



But if you had to pick one. . .

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Re: An evening with the Food Network

Postby AdamOndi » Tue 27 Feb, 2007 10:21 am

Ice Cream Conquest wrote:
AdamOndi wrote:Have for dessert: None of the people on the Food Network. I love most of their shows and food, but all of the women have major things that bug me, no matter how attractive they may be. For instance, Rachael Ray is cute, but her voice and corny personality would kill any sort of mood.



But if you had to pick one. . .


If I had to pick one, it would be Giada. She is the one who bugs me the least. The only thing that really bothers me about her is her weird-looking smile.

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Postby lisapants » Tue 27 Feb, 2007 12:23 pm

How come only guys have answered? Very interesting.

A) Giada, and she would have to describe how it tastes (so buttery, so nutty) and gesture wildly with her hands as she prepares the food.
B) Alton, so he could tell me the history and science behind everything we were eating.
C) Bobby Flay
D) Emeril and Ina Garten. I can't stand either one of them.

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Postby AdamOndi » Tue 27 Feb, 2007 02:59 pm

lisapants wrote:C) Bobby Flay


I <b><i>knew</b></i> you had a thing for Bobby Flay. That's it. We will never be going to his restaurant in Las Vegas. :twisted:

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Postby lisapants » Tue 27 Feb, 2007 03:39 pm

Whatever, Giada-lover :D

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Postby The Don » Wed 28 Feb, 2007 08:01 am

A) Prepare the meal? Mario Batali, hands down.
B) Eat with you? Alton Brown or Anthony Bourdain. I love both these guys.
C) For dessert? Duff Goldman. (He would have to bring a giant theme cake though.)
D) Wait on you/clean up? Giada, I'd like to shake her to see if her head jiggles like the bobbly-head doll I swear she is.

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Postby Susannah » Sun 22 Apr, 2007 03:50 am

A) Prepare the meal?
B) Eat with you?
C) For dessert?
D) Wait on you/clean up?



A) Bobby Flay
B) Paula Deen, with us together there would be some loud laughter at that table.
C) George Duran and/or Jamie Deen. (MEOW!)
D) Rachael EVOO Ray (hahaha)


Image Image

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Re: An evening with the Food Network

Postby Lowdoggy Dogg » Sun 22 Apr, 2007 07:19 am

AdamOndi wrote:
Ice Cream Conquest wrote:
AdamOndi wrote:Have for dessert: None of the people on the Food Network. I love most of their shows and food, but all of the women have major things that bug me, no matter how attractive they may be. For instance, Rachael Ray is cute, but her voice and corny personality would kill any sort of mood.



But if you had to pick one. . .


If I had to pick one, it would be Giada. She is the one who bugs me the least. The only thing that really bothers me about her is her weird-looking smile.


She's the cute tiny one with the kind-of big head, right?

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Re: An evening with the Food Network

Postby AdamOndi » Mon 23 Apr, 2007 09:34 am

Lowdoggy Dogg wrote:
AdamOndi wrote:
Ice Cream Conquest wrote:
AdamOndi wrote:Have for dessert: None of the people on the Food Network. I love most of their shows and food, but all of the women have major things that bug me, no matter how attractive they may be. For instance, Rachael Ray is cute, but her voice and corny personality would kill any sort of mood.



But if you had to pick one. . .


If I had to pick one, it would be Giada. She is the one who bugs me the least. The only thing that really bothers me about her is her weird-looking smile.


She's the cute tiny one with the kind-of big head, right?


Yes. She is also the one who always makes huge hand motions whenever she talks. And when her hands are engaged in the preparation of food, she still tries to gesticulate with her elbows.
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Postby Takino » Wed 08 Aug, 2007 05:16 pm

I would have to say...

A) Have Iron Chef Morimoto prepare the food. I haven't seen anything that he's made that didn't look wonderful.

B) Eat with Alton Brown. Such a wonderfully amusing fellow, I can only imagine what a conversation with him would be like.

C) I cannot think of anyone on food network that I'd like to have "for dessert"

D) Emeril would be on cleanup. Although, now that I think about it, I'm not so sure that I could stand to have him in that close proximity, so perhaps Giada de Laurentiis. She just bugs me for some reason.

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Postby KMD » Fri 07 Sep, 2007 09:06 am

OK, this is going to seem a little weird. Sorry about that. That's just me, and I'm OK with that. :D

a) I'd have to have Alton Brown cook it. Knowing how he is with food preparation and safety and all that, and all the kewl gadgets he makes up to use in the kitchen, I'd want him back there. But then,

b) I'd want to eat with Alton, get him to tell me all about the food prep and whatever gadgets he used, and the history of the food, and, well, the man could talk about the weather and I'd be fascinated.

c) Then I'd probably be so enraptured by all the geeky food talk, I'd want to have him for dessert, right there on the table where we ate, food sanitation rules be darned!

d) Eh, at that point who cares who does the cleanup. I had Alton for dessert. :D

Sorry, I have an unnatural love for Alton Brown. I've always been attracted to geeks, and he might not be the King of geeks, but he's definitely the Chef of geeks.

On Food network I also like Paula Deen. She reminds me of my mom with her poofy hair and fantastic ability to cook delicious fattening foods. Oh, and there used to be this great show in the middle of the day, with a french guy doing all these amazing sculptures with chocolate. That was good. Yeah, he can do the clean-up, so long as he drips some of that melted chocolate on Alton so I can clean him up!

I have officially said too much.

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Postby Turing Complete » Fri 07 Sep, 2007 11:15 pm

Soooo. . . KMD. How do you feel about Alton Brown? :lol:

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Postby AdamOndi » Sat 08 Sep, 2007 09:31 am

Turing Complete wrote:Soooo. . . KMD. How do you feel about Alton Brown? :lol:


She seems a little iffy about him....
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Postby Karenins_SuperSon » Tue 11 Sep, 2007 09:37 am

Her lips were saying "no," but her eyes were saying, "read my lips."---Dr. Niles Crane

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Postby KMD » Tue 11 Sep, 2007 09:42 am

AH! I love that! Now I'm torn between that, and some of the Weird Al Yankovic ring tones I've heard...

Forgot to add, yes Alton Brown makes me weak in the knees. I always liked cooking shows, I grew up watching them on Saturday mornings after cartoons went off. But, being a geek myself, I used to wonder why they did certain things, like cut foods on the bias or use baking soda instead of baking powder and nobody was doing a show telling you the mechanics of cooking, just how to follow their recipe step-by-step. Then Alton came along and rocked my socks, and my world was never the same again.

I finally agreed to getting a TiVO after holding out for years, mostly because then I could season pass Good Eats, and watch individual shows when I wanted to make one of his recipes. Printing out the recipe on the Food TV website just doesn't always cut it, they leave out a lot of little things he mentions on the side that end up being the difference between a good recipe and a great one. So now my husband has been transferring the episodes to one of our computers, and when he gets 4 he burns me a DVD of them. We just started this a couple months ago, and I've already got a big stack of them. :oops:

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Re: An evening with the Food Network

Postby Momma Snider » Mon 13 Feb, 2012 03:30 pm

This thread was a long time ago, but I think I will try to watch some Alton Brown. I don't think I ever have, because he seems so uppity with his ounces instead of cups. I didn't know he teaches the basics of why this and that. I love learning that stuff. You have to know the "why" in order to decide how to tweak a recipe for your own needs.

So, KMD, do you still love him?


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