The (preferably bad) Haiku thread.

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claytor the manly
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The (preferably bad) Haiku thread.

Postby claytor the manly » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 11:32 am

Here are a couple:

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My haikus are bad
I cannot count very well
Running out of syl

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Post Valentine's Day
The chocolates are marked way down
I love the Wal-Mart

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Sports Illustrated
The swimsuit edition's out
Avert your eyes perv

---------------------------------------------

Thank you,

ctm

EricDSnider
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Postby EricDSnider » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 11:36 am

Surely I am not
The first to find some humor
In changing haiku's length.

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QaPla Guy
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Postby QaPla Guy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 11:46 am

I am a Klingon
I love the sound of torture
But Manilow too
-----
And now an epic
Well, sort of, a long haiku
Of Trek and Trekkies

Enterprise is junk
Let's show T'Pol's skin-tight clothes
Form-fitting quite much

Her chest protruding
Like a cliff of a mountain
Makes teenage boys watch

Berman in charge now
Roddenberry's vision gone
Vulcan babes better

If you do not watch
You are no longer "Trekkie"
Go to barge of dead

Crush the rebellion
Fans must like this new show, for,
They must keep Trek on

The fed-up viewers
Like myself, or many others
Still don't watch it now

They may annoy us
By insulting our Fanship
But we do not care

We have DS9
No other Trek matters now
Babylon 5 instead

Minbari, Vorlons
Narn, Centauri, Humans too
Stracynski is great

Epic storyline
Much war, diplomacy too
And great characters

Sinclair, Sheridan
G'Kar, Londo, Also Kosh
And Satai Delenn

Garibaldi too,
Security chief is he
And human to boot

Apologies advanced
To the Trekkies offended
I shall stop it now

claytor the manly
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Location: West Lafayette, IN (at least for now)

Postby claytor the manly » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 11:48 am

What is there to say?
Holy epic haiku dude
QPG goes off!

claytor the manly
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Location: West Lafayette, IN (at least for now)

Postby claytor the manly » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 12:06 pm

Susannah is not
A haiku type of person
She must think we suck

---------------------------------------------

What exactly is
A haiku type of person?
Do they count their words?

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jebelmuus
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Postby jebelmuus » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 12:19 pm

Haiku-ists count words
Rather than use chiasmus
To count is human

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Audrey
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Postby Audrey » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 01:01 pm

Bananarama
We bite the big yellow fruit
Don't eat the brown spots!
If you smile at me I will understand, 'cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language.

Fluff
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Postby Fluff » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 01:19 pm

Do you haiku? I,
too, haiku. How about you?
That was redundant.

Saoul Saoul
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Postby Saoul Saoul » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 02:07 pm

Stingray softly sleeps.
My probing will not wake him.
Sweet dreams little one.

I poke, poke his face,
and yet he still ignores me.
Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke.

Sealab 2021 - Feng Shui

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White Buddha
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Postby White Buddha » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 04:06 pm

I am the apartment haiku-writer. Since this is the bad haiku board, so I won't post any of the good ones I've written (they get written on squares of TP and taped to the back of the bathroom door). We just went through "TP rationing week" so I wrote a new one to celebrate the occasion. It's not all that bad, just maybe a little tasteless...

TP rationing:
Less than 10 for "Number Two"
And use three for pee.

jonboy
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Postby jonboy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 04:32 pm

Here's something I wrote for a bad haiku contest in my creative writing class (I won, by the way):

The clock hands drift by
I can’t think of what to write
And so I write this.

And now, for something really random, a digital haiku:

0100010001101001011001110110100101110100011000010110110000100000011010000110000101101001011010110111010100001101000010100100101001110101011100110111010000100000011001110111001001100001011000110110010101100110011101010110110000100000011011110110111001100101011100110010000001100001011011100110010000100000011110100110010101110010011011110110010101110011000011010000101001000100011010010110011101101001011101000110000101101100011010010110001101101001011011110111010101110011

To translate into ASCII characters, go here.

Edited to try to fix my binary.
Last edited by jonboy on Thu 20 Feb, 2003 08:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jonboy
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Postby jonboy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 04:39 pm

Hey, QaPla Guy
Haikus have but three lines
Epic haiku bad

~Zesdy~
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 05:21 pm

What is this I see
Could it be some poetry
Haiku this Nerd Holes

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QaPla Guy
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Postby QaPla Guy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 05:35 pm

Fine, fine, fine Jonboy
I suppose you are correct
"Or are you?" I say....

No epic haiku
Makes the world a quite sad place
Why do this to me?

Look! I am ~Zesdy~
:cry: :evil: :twisted: :roll: :oops: :P :lol:
Each icon one syl

~Zesdy~
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 05:53 pm

Misunderstanding
My haiku was not for you
But for the anal

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QaPla Guy
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Postby QaPla Guy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 08:04 pm

I did not think that
Your haiku was meant for me
But pictographs rock

Jonboy can go and
Suck a lemon, I don't care
His words bounce off me

If not the man you
Meant, I did misunderstand
Apologies, all

~Zesdy~
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 08:11 pm

I should have more faith
In my friends both young and old
I was wrong you're right

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QaPla Guy
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Postby QaPla Guy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 08:20 pm

A moral lesson
Has now been made; good for all
From it we all learn

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Audrey
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Postby Audrey » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 08:22 pm

Linguistics paper
Sitting in the library
Avoiding homework
If you smile at me I will understand, 'cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language.

jonboy
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Postby jonboy » Thu 20 Feb, 2003 08:24 pm

QaPla Guy's smileys
Brought laughter to my sad life
Alas, poor ~Zesdy~


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