Limericks thread

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deepdish
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Limericks thread

Postby deepdish » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 12:32 pm

A man who's remarks are quite snide,
Skewers life in "The Valley" with pride.
His perspective, de novo,
Of the planet called Provo,
Leaves me laughing with pains in my side.

Enjoy!
Chad[/i]

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BeeDub
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Postby BeeDub » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 02:02 pm

A famous one:

An epicure dining in Crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter "Don't shout
Or wave it about
Or the rest will be wanting one too."
You can lead people to truth, but you can't make them understand it: the story of my childhood, as seen from the present.
-Bill Watterson

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Momma Snider
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Postby Momma Snider » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 02:44 pm

There once was a man from Nantucket


Oh, wait. Never mind.

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petullant
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Postby petullant » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 03:16 pm

My friend wrote this one about me being a bookshop girl (as he is a librarian). It still makes me titter.

There once was a Laura called Llew
And I swear that the following's true:
She worked in a store
Pimping books out like whores
Instead of just sharing a few.
"Sometimes, I don't understand you people." Kiki

"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses." -- Dorothy Parker

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Claytonius Maximus
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Postby Claytonius Maximus » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 03:46 pm

Momma Snider!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:


petullant wrote:My friend wrote this one about me being a bookshop girl (as he is a librarian). It still makes me titter.

There once was a Laura called Llew
And I swear that the following's true:
She worked in a store
Pimping books out like whores
Instead of just sharing a few.


That is excellent.

CM

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Momma Snider
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Postby Momma Snider » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 03:59 pm

My mom wrote this one for a cookbook:

There once was a man from Duluth
Who had an enormous sweet tooth
He ate cookies and pies
'Til he tripled the size
Of the figure he had in his youth.

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GenAdFemale
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Postby GenAdFemale » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 04:07 pm

I know a clean version of the Nantucket one. I have to think of it every so often when I start on the naughty version. So I will share it with you all.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his money in a bucket
His daughter named Nan
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket

Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket
The man, the girl and the bucket
He said to the man,
"You can have Nan,"
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.

deepdish
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Postby deepdish » Mon 03 Mar, 2003 04:28 pm

As a question of proper decorum,
When referring to Provo and Orem,
May I combine the two
With a quick blend-a-roo?
And would that be Orvo or Provem?

Chad

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BeeDub
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Postby BeeDub » Mon 08 Aug, 2005 12:41 pm

There once was an old man of Esser
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.
You can lead people to truth, but you can't make them understand it: the story of my childhood, as seen from the present.

-Bill Watterson

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pizzocalabro
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Postby pizzocalabro » Thu 20 Oct, 2005 08:29 pm

A good baker always pregreases
The cake pans for quick, clean releases.
If you pull the stunt
Of not oiling your Bundt,
You'll be serving your cake up in pieces.

[Pizzo knows this from sad experience.]


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