Funny scriptures

The place for religious discussions -- doctrinal or cultural, Mormon or otherwise.

Moderators: Lady Celtic, Eric's Moderator Brother, seespot, Sara without the H

Posts: 1225
Joined: Fri 16 Aug, 2002 05:19 pm
Location: winter in San Antonio

Postby RenLass » Thu 05 Jul, 2007 01:40 am

As for more humerous scriptures, I used to have a plethora of scirptures in a notebook I have around here somewhere... I'll have to dig it up again.

We're waaaiting.
When the devil reminds you of your past,
remind him of his future

User avatar
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon 24 Sep, 2007 09:28 am
Location: Dallas, TX

My favorite funny scriptures

Postby ScBlack » Tue 25 Sep, 2007 03:25 pm

I remember from years ago in my High School Senior English class studying British Lit that Shakespeare would often use repetition to emphasize his points so that even those in the penny seats wouldn't miss the most important parts of the play. According to Mr Hays, he'd have the characters repeat something 3 times if it was of the utmost importance. Following that line of thinking:
Proverbs 21:9
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 21:19
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 25:24
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
Proverbs 27:15
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

So what's the message, and why have it repeated so often? By the way, don't point those out to your wife when she's in a particularly crabby mood.

Another one my friend pointed out to me:
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Says right there in the Bible - you're supposed to fight with your brothers. Mom never liked that argument.

Ryan Reeder
Posts: 1720
Joined: Wed 14 Aug, 2002 03:01 am
Location: Utah

Postby Ryan Reeder » Tue 25 Sep, 2007 04:52 pm

ScBlack wrote:So what's the message, and why have it repeated so often?

I think the answer might begin with remembering that Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. I imagine he dealt with that issue from time to time.

User avatar
Posts: 1436
Joined: Mon 14 Aug, 2006 11:25 am
Location: Monopoly Board, UT

Postby Card » Tue 25 Sep, 2007 05:33 pm

Well, most issues are repeated often in scripture. But, I'd have to say that this speaks out against abuse or contention, in general. And, I think it goes both ways male/female. I will give my own translations as it relates to my life:

-It's better to live in a small room at my parents' house than to marry an abusive guy who has a big house. (And it is. It is.)

-It's better to still attend the singles ward than to marry a contentious jerk with anger management problems.

-Same as the first.

-You know when you get really, really sick of bad weather that just keeps going and going and you want to scream? That's the same feeling you'll have if you date or marry a contentious jerk.

User avatar
Posts: 2094
Joined: Wed 04 Sep, 2002 05:51 pm
Location: Master Elite

Postby GenAdFemale » Sun 28 Oct, 2007 10:07 pm

Hebrews 11:34 (32-34)--Proof of extra-terrestrials. Also tells how to obtain victory over the ETs.

And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets:
Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,
Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.

User avatar
Lowdoggy Dogg
Posts: 1770
Joined: Thu 21 Aug, 2003 08:08 am
Location: Gatortown, FL

Postby Lowdoggy Dogg » Tue 30 Oct, 2007 01:33 pm

Forgive me if this one has already been mentioned. I looked but didn't see it.
Evidence of tobacco in the Old World.

Genesis 24:64- And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.

Return to “Religion”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests