And now, for something completely different (religiously)...

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby quidscribis » Thu 21 Nov, 2013 05:27 pm

I worked as an accountant for close to 15 years. It was a job that I was very very good at and I had no intention ever of becoming an accountant. I kind of fell into it when things at university weren't working out for me (as in, I wasn't enjoying it and it didn't feel right and it wasn't going anywhere I wanted it to go) and I got a job working at a hotel because I needed to do something to earn a living. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, with falling into a job that works. I also don't think there's anything wrong with working at a job that you don't particularly love if it gives you the money you need to support yourself and your family. I also don't think there's anything wrong with working at a job that you love and earning less than at a job you'd merely only like or be neutral about, or the other way around. I think it's all about figuring out what's important to you as an individual and what your priorities are as a family with your spouse. That different people can all pray about this and receive different kinds of answers totally works for me.

Accounting worked for me so very well because it was something I could do from home on a part-time basis and still earn enough to pay the bills. Considering I've been chronically ill my entire life, but ill enough that I have not been physically able to work full time since my mid-twenties, this was vital. I could not possibly have known that this was necessary at 15. Accounting served a very useful purpose for me. It wasn't my dream job (which was astrophysics and which emphatically would not have worked out considering my health problems), but so what?

I don't think most 15 year olds will have any of that figured out. I don't think most 20 year olds or even 25 year olds will have that figured out. I think it's one of those things that you figure out over time as you try different jobs, take different classes, are exposed to people in different careers/walks of life/etc.

Having goals is great as is working towards them. Also great is knowing when a goal no longer serves a useful purpose and needs to be traded in for an entirely different goal that is more useful and does serve a better purpose.

And Mama, you were right to teach that. Absolutely right.
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 24 Apr, 2014 10:59 am

I just saw this thread again and thought I'd update anyone who is reading about my kids and their educational and career progress.

Eric is doing what he always wanted to do, and getting to travel to various film festivals. I wish he had more secure income, but he is doing what he likes, and that counts!
Chris is doing a long-term sub position at his high school, teaching history, and there is a job opening that has been posted, which he will apply for. Prayers and crossed fingers for him!
Jeff is going to graduate from BYU at last! And his wonderful job, which didn't really involve the focus of his degree, now DOES, as he's doing a lot of writing, which he's really good at.
Lane graduated from UVU last year and also has a great job, at Jeff's company, and his DOES involve his degree, something about computers and programming.
Laura has another year at UVU in Criminal Forensics (or something) and has been chosen to be on a Crime Scene Team that competes around the country. She's really good at blood splatters and fingerprints.
And Joy has been working at a preschool, but not really using her degree because she's been in the infant class. She loves those babies, but her goal was to work in an administrative position at a preschool in a more needy area, and this morning she has a job interview that would be exactly that. It would also cut about 15 minutes off her hour-long commute, and be more money.

And I'm just waiting until I'm old enough to retire. Right now I feel like it should be tomorrow, but probably four more years. And I'll feel revived come six weeks from now, when school is out!

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby SDR » Thu 24 Apr, 2014 01:43 pm

Income is nice, but doing what you want can't be overlooked in the least. Six years ago I turned down an offer (and a few weeks ago I rejected an opportunity) that would have made me $20K+ extra per year just because I liked what I was doing more than what I would have been doing. I *could* have done the more, and some would say I should have manned up and taken the more money, but what good am I to my family if I come home miserable everyday? I'm barely adequate for them as it is!

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby quidscribis » Fri 02 May, 2014 12:16 am

SDR wrote:I *could* have done the more, and some would say I should have manned up and taken the more money, but what good am I to my family if I come home miserable everyday? I'm barely adequate for them as it is!

I could not agree more.

The husband has been working from home in one capacity or another since 2004, which I've very much enjoyed. Every now and then, he receives a job offer. In the beginning, it was more than he was currently earning, but it would have meant he'd have to go to an office with a commute and longer hours. We decided no - I liked having him around. And after we both prayed about it, we both felt that even if he didn't take it, we'd be fine financially - in other words, it was up to us, but either way, we'd be fine. In the last five years, since he's gone to mobile apps development, he gets one or two job offers a year, usually involving moving to this country or that. But we've been lucky enough that, working from home for our business, he makes more money than they offer, so there's been no financial incentive to take it, although we would get a visa to pickyourcountry. We've always decided no because, let's face it, he hates commuting, he'd hate to have to wear actual clothes, he'd hate the office politics, he'd hate the long hours... Working from home, even when the money is less, is ideal for us.

We've been lucky. We've even managed to use his skills working for himself into visas to live in three other countries now. We've been really lucky.
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 02 May, 2014 10:39 am

That is so awesome! I love having my husband work from home, although it does make me jealous sometimes because I can't. But I wouldn't be disciplined enough to do it anyway. What I didn't like was my husband being self-employed, but if you've got all the nuances of that covered, it's all good. We have the perfect world with my husband right now, employed by a very stable company (the Church) with an office at home, where he can do phone calls and computer work and plan-reading and everything, but he also has a secretary who has her own office at the church building (she clerks for several project managers) so he doesn't have to deal with the mail and other time-consuming little stuff. They pay him well, or well enough, and he will have retirement income from it. He's home often enough during the day that I don't worry about bad guys casing the neighborhood to find who is gone all day, and he's almost always there when I get home, even though he's still working.

This job is, in so many ways, and example of how God has a plan and knows what He's doing. It's kind of a long story, but since this is almost my personal blog these days anyway, here it is. He wanted to be a roofer, because that was what his dad did, and he used to work with him, so he knew how to do it. When we got married, though, there were no jobs. He worked in a factory for a while, and then he worked for my dad in his store/ambulance service. That really didn't go all that well, but he kept it up until he found a job as a mechanic, with a man who was willing to teach him and pay him at the same time. He worked there for several years, but couldn't really make enough to support the growing family. He worked a few other places as a mechanic for 10 years, but never enjoyed it. Part of that was self-employment, which was horrible because he didn't make enough money and the taxes somehow took us by surprise every year, but he ended it working for a nursery, the plant kind, servicing their trucks. That was the only time we ever had health insurance, and during that time I had our fifth baby and was very sick afterwards and had to stay in the hospital for five days.

Soon after that, the building industry started to pick up around here, and he started a roofing company. He loved that work and did it for nearly 10 years. Money was still really tight, but we got by until 1990, when the economy took a horrible dump and there was no work. Several months into that, a man at church who is an architect was looking for kind of an assistant project manager. Rocky demonstrated his usual amazing ability to learn quickly and completely immerse himself in the business. That worked well for another 10 years, but then the owner decided to close the business and go to work for another company.

Rocky continued with the jobs they had on contract at the time, one of which was for the school district. After that finished, he was offered a job as a project manager for the district, at first as a consultant and then as a permanent employee. Yay! Life was good! He was, for really the first time, making enough money that we could pay bills without juggling. Of course our kids were grown up by then, which helped, but three of them still lived at home. That's when we bought our new house and I felt like a real middle-class person for the first time in my life.

About three years later, in 2003, he got a call out of the blue from Rod, one of the regional project managers for the church. He knew Rocky back when he worked for the architect, Ron. He said there was an opening here in Southern California for a project manager and he thought Rocky would be perfect. He went to SLC and was interviewed and got the job. He was kind of sad to leave the school district, but he always adapts quickly, and this was quite a bit more money. AND three years later his school position dissolved as California went into the toilet, budget-wise, so he'd have been out of a job. He loves his job, I love having him working mostly from home, and we have retirement accounts and even savings, so we will not have to live in poverty after we retire.

We learned so much from all the years of not having enough money. We're thrifty and frugal. But I seriously never thought we'd be able to be comfortable in retirement. Neither of our parents ever were. My dad had to work to survive until just a few months before he died, when he literally couldn't sit up anymore. So life is good, and if we hadn't had some of our hard times, we wouldn't even be where we are now. If the roofing industry hadn't tanked, he'd never have gone to work for Ron, and if that business hadn't failed, he wouldn't have been available when Rod called. We are thankful, and I am incredibly verbose today.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby SDR » Fri 02 May, 2014 11:42 am

Cool story. One of the jobs I turned down was with the church, but indirect as a contract employee. The church would pay a middleman who would pay me. I thought long about it but turned it down. Two months later the economy tanked. I don't know that I would have lost my job, and the church said at the time there were no layoffs, but contractors live in a different world. You don't layoff contract employees, you just terminate contracts, so I felt a lot better about having stayed put at the time. My only regret was that I would have been working on the missionary calling portfolio, software used by general authorities when reviewing paperwork and selecting locations. That would have been a very cool project to work on.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 02 May, 2014 11:56 am

That would have been cool! But I'm sure you were right to hang on. Another thing I always think of in connection with getting the right job is that sometimes it's not about us. Maybe that job would have been great for you, and you'd still be living happily ever after in it, but maybe someone else needed the job more, someone who didn't have anything else, or maybe who needed the spiritual boost of the missionary program, or who knows what?

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby SDR » Fri 02 May, 2014 01:44 pm

Interesting perspective. It was definitely a hard decision to make.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Lady Celtic » Sat 03 May, 2014 03:43 pm

Rocky's story reminds me a LOT of my husband's story, Momma. Mat hated school, but persevered until he had a degree. Then we moved to CA (we were prayed out there, which is a different story entirely). We lived off the tiny inheritance one of my grandmothers had left me while Mat trained with a self-employed appliance repairman. That really didn't work out, but the Target we always drove by had their hiring sign out, so Mat interviewed with them and got hired to do security.

He hated it.

He was being held back from promotion and it was menial in its own way and so on and so forth. So during one of the long hours that he spent standing in the garden center, making sure that no one was trying to do a push-out in that direction (where you take a cart of stuff and just leave), he was kind of praying and asking if this is what he was supposed to do with his life. And the answer was "Go back to school."

He didn't like that answer. BUT he listened, because he's a good man like that. My dad had been saying that he'd help us move to AZ, so within six weeks of our eldest child's birth, we moved to AZ and Mat transferred to a Target down there. He ended up leaving Target and working at a daycare (and guess what his calling was??), but the daycare was flexible enough that he could work and go to class, they reimbursed some of his tuition, and they had pretty good insurance, which was nice since kid #2 came along about that time. He got into the counseling program at ASU, which just happened to be a premiere program, but he didn't know that until after he was accepted.

And then he graduated and thought he had a job offer in Texas, so we moved out here and the job offer fell through. Maddening. BUT again, it ended up working out, just not the way we thought it would. We lived with my in-laws for six months, Mat found part-time work (and when we were at absolute $0 in our checking account, it turned out that I had paid just enough extra on my student loan that my payment was skipped for that month), and then the county offered him a soul-sucking full-time job with just adequate insurance that provided just the right kind of experience for Mat to be very capable in the job he has today. And he wouldn't have today's job were it not for the fact that we chose the apartment we did and not two cities over, because the bishop of our ward heard about an employment opportunity with the church that he just happened to tell Mat about JUST as Mat finished up the required hours to receive his counseling license.

SO. He's in a job he loves, he's acquired a number of unusual but vastly helpful experiences and skills that help him help the people he works with, and he works for a stable company (the Church) with FANTASTIC insurance. (Which is important, what with the four kids and one of them being a Type 1 diabetic and all).

Isn't it interesting to see how the Lord guides our lives?
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby quidscribis » Sun 04 May, 2014 06:58 pm

I love it when things work out, even when not in the way we expect. :)

We've seen Heavenly Father's hand in our lives plenty of times, too. So you know we've moved to Malaysia. Well, we wouldn't be in Malaysia if we hadn't first been in Singapore. And we wouldn't have been in Singapore if we hadn't first gone to New Zealand... It's just odd little... things that guided us here. Which is not to say that this is a permanent place for us - we don't know, yet. But we're definitely meant to be here now. Why, we don't know, but that's okay, too.
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Mon 05 May, 2014 09:29 am

I love reading that stuff! I love realizing that the plan is so interconnected and intricate that I can't possibly understand it all, but I can grasp pieces of it here and there.

To carry it a little further, there are times when the original action is NOT something that was "meant to be," but God can make it work to our advantage. The major example in my life is how I met my husband. I went to BYU for a year, then to Jackson Hole for the summer. While there, I'm not saying I misbehaved in any way, but the next April I had Kati and placed her for adoption. Two weeks before she was due, I was staying with some friends to keep my shame a secret from my home town, and Rocky stopped by to visit them. I didn't know these people well, they were more friends of friends who had a room to rent, and Rocky wasn't good friends with them at all, had gone to high school as a freshman when the husband was a senior, but he needed something from them and came by to ask. That was a Friday night, and on Sunday evening he came back because he was leaving for North Carolina in the morning. He was gone for six weeks, but he thought of me and I thought of him the whole time, and when he came back he called me and the rest is history.

There is no way I could have met him if I hadn't done something wrong to start with. I don't think I was "meant" to do that, but a family who wanted a baby were blessed, and I was blessed with meeting Rocky and living happily ever after. So now we're where we're meant to be.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby quidscribis » Mon 05 May, 2014 06:18 pm

That's so cool, Momma!

You know the whole thing about Fahim and I meeting online? Here's an expanded version of how we met...

You've heard of blogs. Back in 2003, almost no one had heard of them. They weren't popular yet and almost no one kept one. I'd heard of them but had zero interest in ever having one of my own. I was more than just a little against me ever having one. Really, I had quite strong opinions on the matter. Then one day (3 June 2003), I woke up and felt like I had to have my own blog. It seriously came out of absolutely nowhere and was a complete shift in attitude. I knew at the time that it was rather a remarkable shift and it was weird and very different but there had to be a reason, so I decided to go with it. And after researching blog platforms and programs, downloaded Fahim's blogging app, which was the entire reason I met him.

I didn't meet him out of luck or coincidence. It was designed. It was so obviously the hand of God from the absolute very beginning.
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 15 May, 2014 09:10 am

I love it! Some people picture God moving us around like little chess pieces or something, and it makes them mad, but I see it more like God watching everything and guiding us. We know he won't take away our free agency and prevent us if we're bent on sinning (Bent on Sinning would be the name of my next band, if I did head-banging heavy metal) but he will gently nudge us in the right direction. And then I picture him, when we do make wrong turns, carving a new path where we can only see high cliffs or wasteland with no way to get through.

We can't see the beauty that lies ahead, and sometimes it's hard to even imagine how some of our trials can turn to beauty, but we have to believe that they will, if we just keep on moving the best we can.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby quidscribis » Thu 15 May, 2014 07:55 pm

Since I believe in a loving, caring, kind, benevolent God, I very much prefer having God guide me and design my life for me. Okay, so the first couple decades of my life sucked, but now is making up for it. :)
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Fri 16 May, 2014 10:05 am

Me, too! Every once in a while I worry about something serious, and it will hit me really hard for a few minutes, and then I remind myself that even when bad things happen, God is still there, still loves me and my family, and even if the bad thing is not part of the original plan, it will be okay, because he will make it okay.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby lisapants » Tue 20 May, 2014 03:04 pm

WOW, I haven't been on the board regularly for a couple months and I've been trying to catch up on posts I've missed. This thread has been so good to read. Our lives (Adam and I) have taken us places I never imagined we would be, and it doesn't appear to be done changing yet. When we got married, I thought we would live in Washington near our families forever. We didn't want to leave, but Adam's job was transferring everyone to San Antonio. It was 2009 when the economy was still tanked and we decided to keep the job and move to San Antonio than try to look for a new job in Washington. It was hard to move away, but we met some amazing friends and learned some things we needed to know to get our finances managed and under control. Then Adam applied for a couple promotions at work, and didn't get them and he started looking elsewhere. He got a job here in Northern California and we were thrilled to get out of the heat and humidity of Texas to and be just a (long) day's drive away from family in Washington. I know now we needed to be here for my son to be able to attend the school he is in now that is so patient and loving with him and has helped him get the best start on his education, despite his difficulties. But the company he works for now is completely unprofessional and it has been very frustrating to work there these past 2+ years. This past week 50% of the people in his department have been laid off or have quit. Adam has been looking for other jobs and in the past two weeks he has found 4 job openings that he would enjoy doing and is qualified for and he has applied for them. One is here in Northern California, one is in Portland, and two are in Washington near our family. We have had a feeling lately that we won't be here for very long, so hopefully it's because we are moving for a new job (if one of these applications pans out) and not because the owner of Adam's company decides to do away with the other 50% of Adam's department, which would include Adam. Eek, that is a scary thought!
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 21 May, 2014 08:55 am

That is scary! I hope (and I'll pray) that one of those jobs works out, hopefully in Washington, but even if it's the one in Portland, that will be a whole lot closer to family! And there's probably a perfect school and teacher wherever you end up.

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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby quidscribis » Wed 21 May, 2014 06:53 pm

Good luck on the job front, Lisa. :)
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby lisapants » Thu 22 May, 2014 03:11 pm

Thank you both!
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Re: And now, for something completely different (religiously

Postby Momma Snider » Thu 29 May, 2014 08:43 am

At church Sunday, a young man walked in about 10 minutes before the meeting ended. (He is the son of our renters from a few years ago, the ones who got in a fight with my brother and threatened us when we told them they had to move out before he got out of the hospital, but that's beside the point.) Anyway, he bounced down the aisle wearing basketball shorts and a tank top, carrying a GatorAde. I honestly think he might have forgotten what day it was, and thought he was there to play basketball.

But what I thought was really cool was that no one stared at him, although a few who caught his eye smiled a welcome, and a man who was sitting near me got up and moved over to sit with him. It was heartwarming.


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