Unanswered Prayers

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~Zesdy~
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Unanswered Prayers

Postby ~Zesdy~ » Tue 29 Sep, 2009 04:46 pm

The other thread about pets and children brought up some other thoughts and I thought I'd bring it here, in the Religion Forum.

First I'd like to say I'm going to share some personal stuff. I do realize this is a public forum nevertheless I really do think this is where I will find some comfort and solace.

When I came back to church a little over a 11 years ago, I was going through a horrible divorce and had 3 kids all under the age of 6. But, wait... I have to go back further.

Before I was even married, and while living with my future ex-husband with our children (I always did things a little [ok, a lot] backwards), we had an opportunity to walk through the San Diego Temple before it was dedicated. My ex is not LDS and I was not active in the church at the time. However I really did want to see what it looked like inside since I was raised in the church. So my ex, my kids and I went to go see it together. When I entered the Bride's room I was overcome by its beauty and thought to myself, "Every bride deserves to have this before she gets married." After that thought... another thought, a clear thought, entered my mind, a thought that I now know was the Holy Ghost, but didn't know at the time. He said, "You will not get here with this man." Yes, that whispering, disheartened me a bit but it was easy to dismiss as a fleeting thought since I wasn't active in church and hadn't gained a testimony of our Savior.

Before I married the Lord knew it would not work out, and now, that I am divorced, I more clearly understand why the Holy Ghost said, "not with this man." I am at peace with the divorce. I still have some anger toward my ex for some of his actions, but as for the divorce I am at peace.

There is something else that I am not at peace with though. As I said before, when I came back to church my children were still quite young. And I had a hope. My hope was that I would find someone who would be a righteous man to be there to influence my children in a positive way. I prayed from my heart everyday for it. I often thought of this scripture:

Matt. 21: 22
22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Well, obviously, Heavenly Father has a different plan because it never happened. And I think the time has passed. My oldest is 18 and no longer lives at home. My 2nd child lives with her dad now because she gets more stuff and can stay up and text all night long. My son is 12, and still impressionable, but what about my daughters.

I have to say it has really caused me sadness. I don't think it is an unrighteous thing to ask for but for some reason it didn't happen. And now I find I am actually angry and questioning God. I know I'm not the only one to have feelings like this but it is not the easiest thing to admit, "I'm angry with God." I didn't get my way and I'm having a hard time seeing the silver lining. Please help. Perhaps a personal story that things will be even better than imagined. Just something because, I hate admitting this, but not only is my hope demolished it is putting a dent in my faith. And please know it was hard to write this out and admit it.

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Postby SDR » Tue 29 Sep, 2009 05:16 pm

It's not that it didn't happen, it's that it hasn't yet happened. I understand this is of little (or no) consolation at this time, and I wish I could think of something more profound that might be helpful...

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Postby ImAdhis » Tue 29 Sep, 2009 10:37 pm

I'm kinda like my husband in situations like this: clueless about what to say. I hope whatever I do say is taken to be me sharing from personal experience, not calloused preaching.

I know when I begin praying for something I want, the prayer changes after a few sessions or days of my pleading. I end up eventually turning my prayer into, "Heavenly Father, what is it that you want me to do now?"

An answer always comes. Sometimes, the first time I ask. Sometimes, after days of asking. Many times, I'm bummed or unsure because I do not see the relevance between the answer and what I want. But I've had enough experiences so far to learn one of two things results from my heeding the answer:

1) It becomes the unexpected path to the desired result, or

2) It leads me to something totally different that brings with it the emotions I wanted from my initial request. (Joy, happiness, peace, comfort, safety, etc.)


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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 12:46 am

Thanks SDR and ImAdhis for approaching this with sensitivity. I do appreciate it. I do want to add more of an explanation.

Given that I have been praying for this for over a decade I have had instances where I have done exactly what you yourself have expressed, Adhis. I remember one particular Fast & Testimony meeting, several years ago, where an older gentleman made a twist to the saying "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" and made it into "Ask not what God can do for you, but what you can do for God!" It inspired me and I went on a service and listening-to-promptings-and-acting-on-them tirade. I've gone on that ride a few times now.

I've also had those instances where I pray with just thanks and don't ask for anything.

I have also tried to remain open minded. For example, there was this one time I thought perhaps this particular home teacher would be the positive influence in my kids lives, but it didn't turn out so well. (Hint to home teachers: I realize intentions are good but before acting on one side of the story get the other side of the story too. That way judgements and actions can be better directed. You want to encourage family to unify, not divide. Thank goodness for a Bishop for not being happy with his actions and getting the whole story, both sides, and supporting who needed to be supported before complete devastation occured.)

Perhaps I'm just losing patience. But, I do think that window has passed. I think I'm grieving a dream... a dream I have to let go.

I would like to also say I do know God loves me and He provides so much. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed or upset. I guess more than anything I don't understand why.

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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 12:49 am

And I have prayed and asked why. :)


Don't know why... yet.

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Postby Card » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 11:03 am

This probably doesn't help much, but I only have what I can share from my own experiences.

So, sometimes I think that I should probably find an eternal companion and start a family. And let's face it: with every passing year, the number of children I'll be able to have gradually decreases (Tangent: I imagine it to be kind of like the Gmail megabyte counter, only my number is a lot smaller and gradually decreases instead of increasing.). So, then I start to feel a little angsty about finding a spouse, but then I feel like God tells me to be patient. And then I feel like he points out all of my faults and reminds me to work on them. In addition, he gives me loads of people in my life who I can serve, as well as other responsibilities at home, work, and play. So, then I don't have time to worry about my gradually decreasing child counter. And then I end up being grateful for all of the other opportunities that he gives me because really, most of them wouldn't exist if I had a spouse and especially if I had children.

So, I guess that my advice is to look at your life as it is and to ... well, count your blessings. I know that perhaps that sounds a little lame, cheesy, and maybe uncomforting when what you really want is a righteous companion (and absolutely, that is a righteous desire), but I just believe that Heavenly Father is probably blessing you in so many other ways because you are already keeping so many of the commandments and your covenants.

I don't know if that really helps during this kind of trial of your faith, but all I can really do is give what I have and sympathize that way. And sometimes we do have to wait a long time. But, I guess, I'm waiting with you.

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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 01:46 pm

I'm starting to think I'm in a communist country because this line is really long. But, at least, I'm not the only one standin' in it. Amen to that! And thanks for waitin' with me.

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Postby Coolboyharrell » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 02:26 pm

I don't consider myself very qualified to offer much advice as my time span (or rather, lifespan) has been much shorter than yours, but I suppose I do have something small I can offer.

This past summer was a disaster for me if you compare it to the plans I had made, but pretty much perfect if you looking at it from hindsight. Things started with getting sick (Mono + Strep at once, if you recall) and getting bad grades (due to being sick). What followed was: Getting in a bike accident and dealing with medical bills and missing work, my job being mind-numbingly boring, not getting any photography gigs (college money, that is), and not being able to get away from my ex-girlfriend. I also discovered that I had scholarships for half tuition but BYU never told me about them so I couldn't use them in time AND that I wouldn't get a scholarship for Fall because my Winter grades sucked. Additionally, I went through the process of rejecting two prospects for majors.

So as it stood I had: scars, no money, a sucky job, no prospects for a career, and an emotional ex I couldn't get away from. Awesome.

However, about this time I officially had enough. I changed my mindset from "Do what I think God wants me to do" to "Do what I want to do" (as long as it doesn't come into conflict with any commandments and whatnot). It says in 2nd Nephi that there are things to act and things to be acted upon, and I decided I'd rather be in the 1st category. My prayers changed from "What should I do? to "I'm going to do [this], if there's a problem, let me know and I'll make changes".

After that things have gone pretty much like a fairy tale. And I won't lie, I feel entitled to it. I spent my teen years, much of my mission, and the 1st year afterward just trying to "deal" with everything that at some point I stopped making my own decisions. I would just accept whatever parameters had been set before me and adjust instead of doing what I wanted to do. I'm so happy to finally be getting some of the things that I want.

It worked out like this:
- Getting bad grades got me out of major that I didn't really like anyway.
- Getting hurt and going to the doctor re-inspired me to go for Med School like I've always wanted but never thought I was smart enough for.
- Wanting to get away from the Ex made me branch out and look for new friends.
- THAT resulted in me asking out Aubrey, who seemed nice and I thought I could be friends with. She's the best friend I've ever had and currently my fiance.
- The money thing has sort of taken care of itself. I don't understand that at all, but I'm staying afloat.

It's been frustrating, I had to make some big changes and I didn't know what was going on until the very end but it turned out great. In retrospect, it was a great summer after all. Granted, the time between making changes and having things start coming together happened in a very short period of time--about 2 months-- and you're talking about decades of trying.

I think the best advice this youngin' could give would be to not be afraid of going after what you want. If you hunger and thirst after righteousness, you will be filled (that's in Matthew 4 or 5 or something). You may get feta and craisins on your salad instead of walnuts and mandarin oranges like you expected, but the result is the same. You will get what will fill you up. The Lord knows your needs and will supply them if you trust Him (or maybe even if you don't, He knows how to get your attention).

That's what I've got. Sorry it was so long.
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Postby Coolboyharrell » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 02:29 pm

Plus optimism. That's my bread and butter.


...Maybe that's why I'm gaining weight...
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Postby Momma Snider » Wed 30 Sep, 2009 07:00 pm

I've been thinking about this all day, since reading it just before I left for work. In one way, it seems like I shouldn't even have an opinion on this particular circumstance, because I met Mr. Right when I was 20, before I was even thinking about looking for him, and we've pretty much lived happily ever after. (Thirty-six years yesterday!) But in general, I have a couple of thoughts, First, when I saw the title of the thread, I thought of the song that's about Unanswered Prayers. The point of it is that we often end up very grateful that our prayers WEREN'T answered the way we wanted. Trouble is, sometimes we don't find out why it wouldn't have been good for us.

Another thing, Zesdy, your kids did have good male role models in their grandpa and their uncles. I know they didn't make up for the loneliness you felt, but your kids had you and someday will appreciate all you sacrificed for them. Who knows, maybe they'd have been really resentful if you'd found your husband when they were younger.

And it all comes down to the long run, when this life will seem like a moment. Sometimes all we can do is remember that, that this life is not all there is, and keep on keeping on.

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Postby KMD » Thu 01 Oct, 2009 09:47 am

Oh Zesdy! First off, I have to say, you are one of the most awesome women I've ever known, even if that is just virtually. You've been through so much, and you've come through it with such a fantastic sense of humor. You're just a wonderful person. I hate to hear that you're hurting, you deserve only the best things in life! The Best!

You asked for personal stories, so I'm going to tell you the flip-side of how me and my husband got together, from his point of view. This is officially long-winded, and will take forever. Everybody who is not Zesdy, feel free to skip along to the next post in this thread. And, I'm sorry, I know this story is going to sound like teen drama and angst, and it kind of does start that way, but there's real lessons at the end. Really.

The first thing you've got to know about Jeff is, he is a full-on geek. I mean, even as a kid. Big glasses, pizza face, greasy hair, skinny body, full-on Star Wars lovin' nerd. :D And, a math/computer geek and artist to boot. And super shy. So, in the teen years, he had no luck with girls. And I mean NONE. Every girl he asked out, either laughed in his face, or told him very firmly he was in the "friend zone", and wasn't getting out. And that was when he could muster the courage to ask a girl out. He started praying, way back in like Jr. High, for God to send him a girl to love. And yeah, it wasn't looking very hopeful. But, he kept praying. So, somewhere in here, around 11th grade for him, he met me. He remembers it incredibly clearly, the room, what I was wearing, all of it. I only remember now because he told me about it later, let's just say he did NOT make such an impression on me. :wink: We had friends in common, and eventually ended up in clubs and classes together, got to know each other, and I put him very squarely in the "friend zone", and thought that was where he would stay. He was smitten with me, and began to pray that God would bring us together. Yeah, uh, wasn't happening. I was not in on the plan at all. I was too cool to date a nerd.

Let's see, a year later... 11th grade for me, 12th for Jeff, we had a Pascal programming class together, sat next to each other. We were good, solid friends by now, went to movies in large groups with others, things like that. He decides this is the right time, and asks me out. I say yes, because honestly, I was going through a bit of a dry spell, no one on the horizon, and thought, well, why not? In my opinion, the date was a disaster. Nothing went wrong, just there was no chemistry there. It was like going to dinner and a movie with a brother. And I wanted some romance in my life, so I wasn't about to waste a second date on this. Jeff felt totally differently about the date. He thought it went well, this being his first real date. I had agreed to go, I sat next to him in a darkened movie theater. No kiss, but he didn't even try for a kiss, he was too much of a gentleman, so he thought everything was going well. He's on Cloud 9, thinking his prayers are answered, this girl he's liked for a year has finally gone out with him, and hey, prom is coming up, and graduation, and everything is coming up roses! Hooray! Then, his best friend Shawn lets him know that he's taking me to the prom. And his whole little world kind of came crashing down on him. The girl he liked had rejected him, and his best friend had betrayed him. So, he spent the rest of the school year miserable, could barely meet my eyes, and it really destroyed his relationship with Shawn. Those two had been best friends since birth, and now a girl had come between them.

So, he went on to college. And kept praying God would bring him a good woman to love. He went to an engineering school, so very few girls there, and now he's been burned and he was already super shy, so he saw some girls he was interested in, but couldn't get up the guts to ask them out. This continues for a year. Then one day he's dropping his sister off at her dorm at a different college, and there in the parking lot he bumps into me. We haven't seen each other in a year. Him and Shawn have worked on the friendship, especially since no romance blossomed between me and Shawn, but my name is considered taboo between them. So anyway, he sees me in the parking lot, comes over and starts talking to me. He can tell I'm upset, so he asks what's wrong. I tell him my boyfriend just broke up with me. (And I mean JUST, like 5 minutes before on the phone. And he was also a mutual friend between us.) And Jeff's response was "I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you going to be OK? Do you want to go out with me this weekend?" :D This from the guy who has been too shy to ask out anybody! I was stunned, but I said yes, and the next weekend, we go out on date #2.

Date #2 was very different from Date #1. There was definitely chemistry for both of us. He was much more confident. He had his arm around the back of my chair in the movie theater the whole time, and I snuggled into it. When we got to my house, I kissed him goodnight, because I wasn't going to miss the opportunity again, and he kissed me back, and let me tell you, it was a GOOD KISS. So, he goes home, floating on a cloud, smelling my perfume on his shirt all night long, thinking God has finally answered his prayer, and all is right in his world. And the next day he calls and asks me to go out with him again. And I become incredibly "busy". I have to work, I have a family thing I have to do, I have to study. I was full-on ignoring him, trying to give him the brush-off, but he refused to be brushed. Part of it was lack of experience with girls, but part of it was, he didn't want to admit that I was rejecting him again. He would drive his sister to school every chance he got, to give him a chance to run into me, leave me flowers, poems, chocolates. But, I just changed the times I got there, so I could avoid him. After 2 months of this he finally got the hint, and left me alone. He's crushed. He thought God had brought us together, answered his prayer, finally fulfilled his loneliness, and nope, the rug was yanked out from under him, once again.

Fast forward another 2 years. It's right before school is about to start, and Shawn is throwing a back to school party/bonfire. The friendship there is just about back to normal. Shawn lets him know I'm coming to the party, with my fiancee, John. But hey, it's 2 years later, he didn't think I was sitting in a block of ice, you know? Even though he was. In that 2 years he'd seen a few girls he was interested in, but any time he tried to move it from the friend zone, it wasn't happening. There was even one named Carrie. He really liked her, they had been studying together, he finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and right before he did, she shows him her engagement ring. He hadn't even realized she'd been seeing anyone, but she said he was the first one she told about the engagement, because they were such good friends, she just had to share her joy with him! Anyway, he decides to go to Shawn's party, and there I am, with John. And when we see each other, it's just like the past 2 years of animosity never happened. We're good friends, joking with each other, getting along great. Foolishly I'd been hoping John and Jeff could get along, become friends since they had so much in common, but John was a full-on jerk to Jeff the whole night. And Jeff was just a sweetie, taking it, because dealing with the jerk meant at least he could see me. But, he knew I was engaged, John was very affectionate towards me in front of him, because, well, I already said he was a jerk, right? Anyway, Jeff felt it was time to move on. Obviously I had. The other Carrie had. Any girl who he ever liked had rejected him, was getting married, it was too late, he had missed his chance. And, it was somewhere in here that he finally gave up. He prayed a prayer to God, something along the lines of "God, I keep praying and praying for a good, godly woman. Someone to love. But apparently that isn't your plan. So, I'm giving up. Your will be done." And that was all. He stopped looking. He accepted he was going to be alone the rest of his life.

A couple months later I had a birthday party, and invited him, and of course John was there. And Jeff was nice to me, we were working on the friend thing. But there was no more flirting. Just friendship. (This is TOTALLY significant to my side of the story, but to Jeff, just a party. On my side, this is when I really started to see what a jerk my fiancee was, because of how he was treating sweet Jeff. And when I knew I'd dump him. Jeff, still clueless. At this point, he's kind of put me in the friend zone.)

So, couple months later, Jeff has given up on love, put it all in God's hands, and has moved on. He was concentrating on school. Lining up a summer internship, that sort of thing. And then out of the blue Shawn calls him, and suggests getting together and hanging out on Saturday with him, his girlfriend Annie, and me. And, of course he lets slip that I'm no longer engaged to John, but this is totally just 4 friends, hanging out. Shooting pool, catching a movie. So, Jeff agrees, happy to be getting both these friendships back on track. Shawn picks Jeff up, gives him a ride to the mall, where me and Annie are waiting. And the chemistry between me and him, I'm telling you it was fantastic. Shawn and I had arranged this whole thing behind the scenes, to see if Jeff still had any feelings for me, even after I've ripped his heart out twice. The plan was for Shawn to have to take Annie home early, so I could drive Jeff and get some alone time with him to talk. And Jeff has no clue. He thinks he's mending friendships. But then I'm all flirty with him, and sitting close to him at the movie, and touching his arm and it was just ALL SPARKS. And I drove him home, we're still all flirty. He's not shy, not around me. And as I'm dropping him off at his house, I said "This is fun. We should do this again sometime. But, without Shawn and Annie." Because, well, I'm blunt that way. And his immediate response was "What are you doing next weekend?"

And that's pretty much the whole story, from his perspective. We started dating. That next week was the beginning of Spring Break. We spent almost every day of it together. By the end of the first month he was asking me questions about the future, and how many kids I wanted. And he was ready to propose, but I made him hold that question until I knew just as certainly as he did. And that took me 6 months. :D

There's 2 big takeaways from this story. #1, and the most obvious is, Jeff was so faithful in prayer, for years and years and years. And what he was asking for was good. He just wanted a good, godly woman, to love, to grow old with, to worship with, to do God's work with. This is God's plan for mankind. It was a good prayer. He wanted it for all the right reasons. But that didn't matter, it wasn't God's plan for Jeff at that time, so it didn't happen. And Jeff grew more and more disillusioned with God, and couldn't understand why God would want him alone and miserable, and couldn't give him this one, tiny thing he wanted. But, God had a different plan, and His is always the right plan. And it wasn't going to happen until Jeff surrendered, and put it in God's hands, and just let it be. Takeaway #2. This whole story is from Jeff's perspective for a reason. There's another side to the coin, and that was me, and my life, and my needs. Throughout almost all of this story, in my life I was very far from God. I had stopped going to church, turned my back on Him really. I was doing only what I wanted to do. I was trying to be a "good person", but I wasn't living for God. This is one of the only good things anyone will ever hear me say about that good-for-very-little fiancee John, but he made me get right with God. Well, I guess no one else can "make you", but you know what I mean. His dad was a bishop in their church, he started making me attend church regularly. And he made me do bible study with him every night. And in the beginning I did it just to placate him, but after a while it changed me, and I grew closer to God and I started to see the hypocrisy in John, and the meanness and obnoxiousness, and God gave me the strength and clarity to (well, to get on good drugs to clear my head, and THEN) to get away from John, and realize that I was a good person, and deserving of love. Of someone who loved me for me, and knew how to show that love. And then, and only then, was I was ready for Jeff. I had to go through some pain and heartbreak, and learn a few lessons before I could see beyond the "nerd" and beyond the "friend" to the real love that was there, if I was just willing to accept it. And Jeff had absolutely no clue about any of that, about my journey to get me to that point. So, takeaway #2 is, the timing has to be God's, not yours, because only God knows the whole story. Only He's got the perspective to see both sides. Father really does know best. :D

So, I think Momma has a good point. There are other men in your children's lives who are being good spiritual role models for your kids. And there are probably some others who are influencing them that you don't even know about, maybe close friends at school? I know that wasn't exactly what you were thinking of when you prayed about this, but it could still be a way God is answering your prayer. Even though your oldest is 18 and has moved out doesn't mean she's beyond influence. None of us is beyond influence until we are in the grave. God has a plan. It is for the good of those who love Him. That doesn't mean that it's going to be easy, or there isn't going to be some major problems and heartache along the way. And in the end, it's not going to turn out how you think. Trust me, I NEVER would have thought I'd be happily married to Jeff, with a kid. This was not my plan, back in the day, to fall in love with the nerd from computer class. But God knew what I needed, and what Jeff needed. And a lot of the experiences it took to get us here, I really wish hadn't happened. I hate that I ripped his heart out multiple times. He forgave me a long time ago, and I've forgiven myself by now too (the MIL, yeah, I don't think she's quite forgiven me fully yet...) but if I had my way, I wouldn't have wanted it to have happened that way. But, it did. And we needed that pain, to be as strong as we are now. I had to know the pain of John, to appreciate the sweetness of Jeff. Jeff had to go through the pain of loneliness, of rejection, to fully appreciate the companionship, the love, that he now has with me.

So, all I can say is, let go. Accept that God is going to answer your prayer, just not the way you expect. God knows that what you pray may not be what you really need. But He's going to give you what you need, even when you don't realize it yourself. And you never know, He may be working on someone else's heart right now, and you just need to be patient, and wait for him to catch up to where you are. And He's taking care of your kid's spiritual needs, whether that's through close family members, friends or even other women in their lives, as opposed to a male role model. You, for example, are an excellent role model for them, and I'm sure they're learning a lot from you. Just let His will be done.
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Postby Card » Thu 01 Oct, 2009 10:28 am

Fantastic story, KMD! Thanks for sharing that.

And it keeps the long line that Zesdy and I are in more interesting. :)

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Postby SDR » Thu 01 Oct, 2009 11:22 am

Agreed, fantastic story. I feel a lot like Jeff, except for the patient waiting for God's will part (as evidenced by two ex-wives, who I'm sure consider me more John than Jeff). And I'd be lying if I tried to claim there was no reason for them to feel that way. But I'm getting better!

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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Thu 01 Oct, 2009 06:10 pm

Thank you so much, KMD. That is exactly what I needed. That was truly a fantastic story. Again, thank you.

Now, time for me to dry my eyes... and I had just put on mascara. :)

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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Thu 01 Oct, 2009 06:15 pm

And coolboy, you are so cool. I do remember all that you were going through. It is so good it turned around for the better.

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Postby Lowdoggy Dogg » Fri 02 Oct, 2009 09:57 am

To be honest, I often skim quickly or skip long posts, but I'm really glad that I didn't skip your story KMD. So enjoyable to read, and I think most of us can relate to at least a part of that.

I had previously refrained from commenting, as I didn't think I had much to say on the issue aside from the standard "hang in there."

I am glad that you shared this with us Zesdy. It is important for people like me, who are not in your shoes, to understand it better, especially in the Church. It has become an emphasis in leadership meetings to do a better job of help single members, and I think we have a ways to go before we do that well.

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Postby KMD » Fri 02 Oct, 2009 01:16 pm

Awww guys! Thanks! I was really nervous posting that. It's just so chock full of personal stuff. And very likely to only be interesting to me & Jeff. But, I knew that was one of those life lessons that I didn't see until years later, when I had some perspective on it.
Living with a cat is like living with a small, very crazy fat man.

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WiseNLucky
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Postby WiseNLucky » Fri 02 Oct, 2009 04:13 pm

KMD, I loved your story! Hang in there, fellow nerds!

Zesdy, my story, as you know, takes the other route. I have a companion, but no children. Looking back, I can't imagine not having my partner. But back in the beginning, looking forward, I couldn't imagine not having children. I'm not sure which is worse. What I do know is that my situation will not change, at least in this life, while yours still has a chance. Please don't give up.

My wife has really struggled with our not having children, having gone through extended periods of being very angry with God. I don't think I've been angry with Him, but I do know I've experienced a lot of pain over the years. I still mourn my missing children from time to time.

There are many, many righteous women in your situation in the church. It must be so hard. I hope you hang in there, and find Mr. Right. Like KMD pointed out, he may not look like what you expect, so give some fellas a chance. Good luck, and I'll include you in MY prayers tonight.
WiseNLucky

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RenLass
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Postby RenLass » Sun 04 Oct, 2009 04:14 pm

(((((((Zesdy))))))) (Big Hugs to you)

KMD, excellent story for anybody, not just singles.

Who knows why God answers some prayers quickly and some not? Only He. But I do know that God is big enough to take it if you are angry with him. Often I have been angry with him and have learned that instead of trying to bury it, if I just tell him how angry I am, He can usually help the pain to ease somehow.

I know that if it was just you in this matter who wasn't getting a good husband you would learn to accept it, but it is that mothering instinct in you that makes you angry for what your children don't seem to be getting. But as one person already said, they are not beyond God's reach until they are dead. I had an aunt in her 80's who came back to the church and finally went through the temple!

It is so hard though to watch one's children grow up and move out and make mistakes and live the way we would not want them to. But there is always hope for them and you. God knows the way. Through all the twists and turns, lightness and darkness, ups and downs, He has forseen it and He knows where it will lead, and He loves you and each of your children, and will not forsake you. Keep trusting Him. Keep living the commandments and going to church and being the good example that your children can look to. Do it for them and do it for yourself, and things will work out eventually.
When the devil reminds you of your past,
remind him of his future

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ImAdhis
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Postby ImAdhis » Sun 04 Oct, 2009 06:48 pm

Had another thought.
When prayers yet to be answered challenges your faith in God, remember all the other prayers that have been answered already.
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