What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

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Postby Sara without the H » Sun 25 Jul, 2010 05:32 pm

Momma Snider, sign into New Family Search and correct it there.

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Postby AdamOndi » Mon 26 Jul, 2010 07:53 am

So the talk turned out fine, if brief. They had asked two older ladies to speak as well, and so I ended up with maybe 5 minutes' time to talk. I am not complaining, though. I like it when I only have a few minutes to do my talk. Also, I can make sure that the meeting gets over on time when I am the one giving the last talk.
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Postby Eric's Fat Brother » Mon 26 Jul, 2010 08:37 am

We had five speakers in our ward yesterday. FIVE! AND a musical number!

Believe it or not, we didn't get out on time...
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Postby Lowdoggy Dogg » Mon 26 Jul, 2010 10:11 am

Who's idea was that? I haven't seen that many speakers since the Church put the kibosh on big-production farewells homecomings.

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Postby ImAdhis » Mon 26 Jul, 2010 01:32 pm

I hope the musical number at least involved tap-dancing and white doves being released into the air.
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Postby kentimus » Mon 23 Aug, 2010 10:40 pm

Our High Council speaker yesterday near the end of his talk paraphrased a recent return missionary that he had spoken with about a month ago. The missionary served in Oregon, often among Native Americans and who told him about a White God who visited them in the distant past.

I don't know if it was my imagination or not, but he seemed to emphasize the word white all four times he said "white God."

It wouldn't have bothered me if everyone in attendance were solid members with solid knowledge of the Book of Mormon who had already heard faith-promoting rumors about Indian tribes being visited by a white, bearded God who said he would return some day. But we had in our congregation about 8 black people.

- One is a solid member, who probably wasn't offended.
- One is a convert of about 3 years, who had a horrible experience when she visited family in Arkansas and went to an LDS ward where she was told (quite wrongly) that black people don't belong in the LDS church.
- One was baptized last Sunday
- Five where investigators or visitors

I didn't talk to any of them about the talk, but our full-time missionaries had a difficult time trying to resolve concerns with one of our investigators because of the talk.

It might have been okay if the speaker had explained better and gave background information about Christ's visit to the Americas, but he just assumed everyone knew what he was talking about when he talked about a white God visiting Indians in Oregon.

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Postby Lady Celtic » Tue 24 Aug, 2010 07:31 am

Ack! Ack ack ack. How do you tactfully point out that mistake to someone?

My husband had similar issues as a missionary with "If You Could Hie to Kolob" being sung during church when they had an investigator with them. So much explaining of non-vital doctrine.... He seriously dislikes the hymn now.
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Postby Momma Snider » Tue 24 Aug, 2010 10:45 am

I love the Kolob song, but I sometimes wonder if the line "there is no end to race" confuses anyone. Of course what it means is the HUMAN race, but it sounds racist.

We had a girl last week who gave a talk about tithing, and it went really well up until the end, when she said she'd been talking to her friends, and they had all agreed that if you can't afford 10%, just pay whatever you can afford. I knew the bishop was going to have to correct that, but turns out the next speaker started right out by explaining that tithing IS 10%.

I have to give a talk this week. It's supposed to be on the happiness we find in choosing the right, which is surprisingly difficult, but I'm also throwing in some Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy angles. I have noticed a lot that the kids in our ward are not even aware of the concept that we shouldn't shop on Sunday. Momma's gonna fix that.

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kentimus
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Postby kentimus » Tue 24 Aug, 2010 02:31 pm

Momma Snider wrote:I have noticed a lot that the kids in our ward are not even aware of the concept that we shouldn't shop on Sunday. Momma's gonna fix that.


We had a guy in our ward who is a door-to-door salesman trying to drum up business in the hall during church. This guy used to be an EQP in his previous ward. No idea why he thought doing business on the Sabbath, during church, was okay.

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Postby EthanBeckstead » Tue 24 Aug, 2010 03:11 pm

kentimus wrote:We had a guy in our ward who is a door-to-door salesman trying to drum up business in the hall during church. This guy used to be an EQP in his previous ward. No idea why he thought doing business on the Sabbath, during church, was okay.

You reminded me of a time when we were doing sealing work in the temple and as one guy was leaving he announced to everyone in the room that he had some rental apartments and if we knew anyone who wanted to rent one, or had kids in college who needed to rent one to contact him.

He didn't leave any contact information or hand out business cards, but everyone was kind and just smiled until he finally left. It was very awkward.

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Postby ImAdhis » Wed 25 Aug, 2010 04:36 pm

Momma Snider wrote: I have noticed a lot that the kids in our ward are not even aware of the concept that we shouldn't shop on Sunday. Momma's gonna fix that.


Love this!
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Postby ~Zesdy~ » Fri 27 Aug, 2010 04:06 pm

In response to kentimus and Ethan:

Maybe... for those guys... "the ox was in the mire"? Times have been tough.

(Proof-reads her statement.)

Ah... geez... now I sound like a self-righteous b word. I've got to work on my tone. I was going for a sarcastic statement.

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Postby Momma Snider » Sun 29 Aug, 2010 08:32 pm

After my talk today, one girl asked me (jokingly) if Diet Coke was an emergency.

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Postby KareNin » Sun 29 Aug, 2010 10:03 pm

Is Diet Coke an emergency?!?!? What kind of idiotic question is THAT? Who even drinks Diet Coke anymore, now that there's Coke Zero?

I meant... NO, of course not! Diet Coke is analogous to Urgent Care.

Dr. Pepper is an emergency.
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Re: What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

Postby kentimus » Sun 16 Jan, 2011 11:17 pm

"Brother M" has been less active for most of his life until about 2 years ago when he decided to come back to church. He's been progressing pretty well, now holds a calling, and I thought it was time to ask him to speak in Sacrament meeting.

He gets up to the podium, talks about how he studied the topic assigned, (repentance,) and how he particularly enjoyed one conference talk in particular. In fact, he explained, the conference talk explained repentance much better than he could ever do.

At this point I'm expecting to be disappointed by him reading the conference talk in its entirety, but it gets worse.

He then explains that he has the conference talk saved on his mp3 player, pulls out his mp3 player from his pocket, sits it on the podium, and lowers the microphone next to mp3 player. He explains that the talk is only 15 minutes long, which just happens to be how long his talk was supposed to be, and so he thought it would be a good idea for all of us to just listen to the pre-recorded message. He pushes a button on his mp3 player, and takes a step back from the podium.

In the next few seconds my head is racing, trying to think of what I need to do next. I was stunned. I didn't know if I should stop him there and publicly correct him and prevent a precedent from happening, or if I should just let his 15 minute talk play, and then pull him aside later and correct him in private. Though I was focused on Brother M, I could feel half of the eyes in the congregation focused on me to see what I was going to do.

Luckily, only about 20 seconds passed between him pushing the button on the mp3 player and taking a step away from the podium before he came back to the podium, turned, looked at me, and said "You can relax, Bishop, I was only kidding." He then proceeded to give a fairly good talk on repentance.

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Card
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Re: What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

Postby Card » Mon 17 Jan, 2011 12:31 am

Wow. That is awesome. That's the best fake-out ever! I would have no idea what to do if that situation actually happened.

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Re: What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

Postby AdamOndi » Mon 17 Jan, 2011 08:26 am

Card wrote:Wow. That is awesome. That's the best fake-out ever! I would have no idea what to do if that situation actually happened.


Shout "BORING!" and then pick up all of your stuff and walk out of the chapel.
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Re: What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

Postby SDR » Mon 17 Jan, 2011 12:51 pm

Card wrote:Wow. That is awesome. That's the best fake-out ever! I would have no idea what to do if that situation actually happened.


Isn't it though? I haven't been asked to give a talk in years. Decades even. But if I ever am, I am so stealing this idea. Maybe. At least thinking about stealing this idea.

Maybe I'll bear my testimony this way... :)

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Re: What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

Postby Momma Snider » Mon 17 Jan, 2011 02:43 pm

I'll have to ask Rocky what he would do if that happened in our ward. He's learned to expect the unexpected, but that was a really major one. I would think it was funnier if he had immediately said "Just kidding," though, and only let you suffer for about two seconds, tops. Bishops have enough heart attacks as it is.

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Re: What not to do during a talk in sacrament meeting

Postby Momma Snider » Wed 05 Oct, 2011 01:35 pm

I just found out I have to speak in stake conference next week, because my husband is in the stake presidency. What kind of reason is that??? :) Really, though, I'd been half-expecting it. I do hope they give me some kind of direction, a topic or something, because my mind is still blank at this point. The not-scary thing about it is that I know that if the Lord has something he wants me to say, he'll tell me. I just hope I'm listening.


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